Nerdslacker

2009-10-02T21:17:00.001+08:00

alright. new blog up at http://lifeinaportrait.livejournal.com

2009-09-21T00:43:00.002+08:00

my cousin in primary sch introduced me to this bejeweled on facebook! me being a facebook idiot is currently addicted to it.

anyways, wed had nights off and went to north point. nothing much there.
fri was the best. almost lost my legs/ father's day.

was carrying a 70 over kg metal plate with spikes on it. i was facing the spikes whereas two man support it from the side. it is supposed to fit in to a groove. it so happened. one of the supporting guys, released his hand from the handle, apparently he said he was shag. i was quite pissed, because its my life he's dealing with. once he let go, the plate plunged downwards. i hugged the spike using my body.

if he were to apologize, i'll just laugh it off and forget about it. but he claims that EVERYONE, is pushing the blame on him. but the fact is, everyone knows that it is his fault. besides that, he did 3 things that made me super pissed off.

first, he said accidentals always happen, ITS OKAY.
woo, felt so warmed up when i heard this. fine, i still remained calm and spoke to him. he then threw his helmet and rifle on the bed and asked me what do i want.
so i asked him if he was asking for a fight. he being a mummy's boy, will never fight, me wouldnt risk going DB and losing my place in SMU.

2nd part, i asked him, do u admit its your fault and stop saying everyone's pushing the blame on you. he said "WHATEVER". that brought me to a high tide, though not exploded yet. cos whatever to me means he still doesnt admit his mistakes and just trying to entertain me. i asked him to repeat, and he really said whatever. so i let him kiss the wall:)

3rd action, he went around telling people he was wronged.

if he isnt so stubborn and just admit his mistake, i wouldnt be so pissed, even though my legs were at stake. i didnt even blame him for that. i'm just super fed up with him not admiting his bloody negligence.

anyways, fri booked out. taught my bro maths for a couple of hours, before revising for tuition.
sat, gave tuition and went jogging. sun, went for mass, then teach tuition, before going to my cousin's 21st birthday party.
tomorrow going out with guan, gym before booking in.

changing to livejournal soon. this is probably the last post here!

2009-09-13T11:50:00.000+08:00

think last sat went selena's house to drink a little vodka, cant really rmbr.
this week's super busy. had to do double tuition, his exams are coming. planned to go out with guan,bro,dog they all. but really pressed for time. was about to go out with idiot also but had to revise maths topics, cos forgot quite alot already.

next week probably going out with dot, guan and idiot. i think double tuition also. so yea. this week's kinda eventful, i believe i've learnt something new. better vision of my goal. during guard duty i had alot of time to stare into blank space and think of my future, do some calculations. so yeap

gyming yesterday was useful man. booking in later. having the thought of going taiwan with my neighbour after ORD. stay with his rich aunty. hmm.

extremely disappointed

2009-08-30T19:40:00.000+08:00

lost the lan gaming on fri. although thrashed commandos previous time. after that went gym. sat morning went to teach tuition, forget to go the frisbee game in church. after that went out with my mum buy pants. this morn went church and hgm long john for breakfast, before buying some stuff at body shop, recommended by selena. came home and did a little weights. actually wanted to go tamp with stuly, but raining i lazy go out.

i dont mind telling the world that i like her, but i just dont want the comments that come from their mouths. i still dont think its a wrong investment, and i still like her without doubts. no communication for the past few weeks. anyways, this week will be super tiring, booking in soon. dinner time!

2009-08-23T23:00:00.000+08:00

morning went for tuition. wow. pay's high. $80 bucks per lesson. hope i'm teaching him for 2 years. got a ride on BMW to main road by the dad. nice. tomorrow's competition. no pressure though.

weight loss program slow but rather successful. hope i can maintain. reaching target soon.

i've already got plans on what to do in future, what to expect. perhaps its just too much time in camp. tomorrow gonna go library before going for comp at clarke quay. dont wanna waste my time in camp although i really hate books. not gonna buy PSP and waste my life.

some people come and go. some will stay. at least in the mind.

2009-08-22T13:01:00.000+08:00

army marathon last sun. 10kmm easy run. 65 mins was too much time. i wonder how some people cannot meet this timing.maybe its too crowded. after that went to have lunch at popeyes with the rest. then watched G.I. JOE before i left for home while they played pool. supposed to meet guan. cant rmbr what happened next.

mon when i woke up, i received a call. cos after the run, one of the COS told me i'll get a confinement cos i didnt sign book in book out book. LOL. to prevent complications like letting my PS who doesnt really like me know about it. i asked the sergeant to quickly give it to me. if not it might just turn into a weekend guard duty. so 1120am i received the call to book in by 1230. rushed,cabbed down. actually honestly. not that bad. free lunch + dinner. i went shopping at emart, try shoe and stuff. then read a money management book. cant believe i finished it. i studied maths (to teach tuition), took afternoon nap. only thing is. NO FREEDOM from the outside world.

tues- thurs was ippt training, and ippt test. i dont know what happened to me. i had gold standards for static stations, but obviously 2.4 <9:44 was not possible. around 1 min plus improvement. thurs night supposed to book out. cos i had silver. but was forced to stay back, TO TRAIN FOR GOLD. whats best. i ran 10km to train 2.4 -.- whatever. wed night and thurs night were nights out. wed went to tamp 1 to walk while others play lan. not my kind of games. but thurs i went with sergeants to play. had prata then went back camp.

was selected to play lan represent my unit. its like CS but SAF version. mon first prelim round with commandos. initially they gave up but now they wanna play. my OC's stand is for us to lose. so we dont have to spend so much time in this. we only had 2 hour practice on fri morning. others had at least 1 full week of daily prac. if we can win. its either pure luck or pure luck.

going out later tata.

2009-08-15T22:00:00.000+08:00

wed went navigation course. carried 10kg field pack,4kg of water,rifle and food. walked around forests. to look for a board smaller than my comp screen. tiring of course. walked 15km at least upslope down slope. stinko helmet.argh. first day trial second day test. did those walking twice. lucky my sergeant and i lead the correct way. didnt waste too much time. plus i keep spotting the boards from afar. but thats probably what i contributed most. cos, i didnt take the signal set at all. lol. heavy and i was lazy after all the navigation.

had close combat training. then booked out yesterday. went fish and co. around 12 people. couldnt take picture. my meal was free. cos i helped wee kie on his SOG and c2. which total cost up to about $90 worth. he treated me to this $30 meal. lol.

i cant really click with most of my platoon mates. first thing. those who were posted there were. FAIL IPPT, BLUR COCKS. my fitness not say the best, but silver ippt, clear minded. mr KO's gonna leave cos he down pes. now who's the rare few thats rebellious and not blur? plus some are super hum ji. got prob cannot solve quietly, must tell superior and get their attention. SUPER HUM JI they get into trouble, selfish and not willing to take risk for a friend. ARGH.

this morning went to teach tuition, but something cropped up. so went late for 30mins. hope they dont have bad impression of me. heard my impression wasnt too bad for the first lesson. felt really bad for being late this time man. bad impression plus. $1.40 bus fare became $14.40 taxi fare. lucky tuition fees i'm getting is quite good i think. HEARD its 50-70.

mon hol cos of army half marathon tomorrow. cant go for mass. shit. mon off.

i think i should give her a break. stop pestering her( if i was). i might just be irritating. anyways, i just saw the most disgusting monster on earth.

2009-08-09T22:32:00.000+08:00

last sunday was an adventure race. i went to watch movie with my neighbour. then went into this shop selling doraemon shirt. took a look at it and tried it out. when i realised. my army green pouch containing : HP,WALLET,MP3,CAMP PASS,11B (I/C), keys. was missing! PANIC. lose CAMP PASS = 3 extra weekend guard duty + $50. same for 11B. wallet got 40 bucks cash. so in the end total cost. $140 +6 Extras. WOO. PLUS i cannot book in, no money no hp, no camp pass. cannot take bus, confirm late for book in. my neighbour never bring money, borrowed from me and hp no batt. panic. ran up and down the whole mall. went to customer service center. searched for an hour.

FINALLY, found it at the doraemon shop. thanks to the staff's sharp eyes. cool. heng ar. cos of that 1 hour of searching. i reached camp 5 mins be4 last parade. panic and rushed. luckily not late. cos late= EXTRA.

mon-fri was slack. fri booked out early. went to vivo's house. took a ride on selena's car! had a small sip of alcohol at her house. stayed til 2 plus. selena drove me and bryan home. yesterday went gym, then went jeremy's birthday party! got MP come to wish him man. cos just nice MP counting down at the clubhouse. quite small scale but quite expensive. stayed for karaoke cut cake. buffet dinner be4 that. drank a little wine. took a lorry ride home.(bryan's dad).

this morning went for mass. then rushed to bukit timah teach tuition. panic. teach J1. wah siow liao. my maths 80% give back Mr Pats already. needa revise. dont know how much to charge also. went to the house. wow. i thought guan was rich. UNTIL i saw the house. panic. better do this well. i might get recommendations for other rich tai tais :)

alright, book in tomorrow night. tomorrow maybe going gym and watch movie. sian. BOOK IN.

549 days to ORD

2009-08-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

i usually dont fall sick easily. but once i fall sick means one time good one. this year fell sick twice. this week i only went back camp on tues night. booked out this morning at 630am. yesterday was ATP. damn it. i was 1 shot away from $200. and. that 1 shot was my most confident position. practice and previous INAD i can score full marks. kns. the actual one i missed that one shot. AR! wasted. my whole platoon i was the only hope left to get that $200. but. disappointment. then re-shot again for the badge only. confirm plus chop i got full. (damn it, even after the test i can get full score). but system register as 1 shot less for my detail i think. so i have to re-shoot another section for that 1 point.

didnt really have the mood to shoot anymore. whats the point of the badge without the money. so i went to re shoot the night one. again. my most confident position. from bmt until now. NEVER missed be4. except in the morning once. then kns. missed AGAIN. so didnt get money. didnt get badge. what a loser. lol. whats best is. i've got a friend thats a "cannot shoot" person. his lane error. he got 17 out of 16. the rest he barely passed. and. he got marksmanship badge. wah.like what yin wei says. the world works in different ways.

we need luck in things we do. some holy people calls it god's will. absolutely true. 1 bullet cost me $200.
went to facebook just now. i think i'm a facebook idiot. life's full of regrets too. why did i take MC on re-sit test and ippt. then now. IPPT silver easily. what the hell seriously. army seriously made me lose purpose in life. every week only thing to look forward is book out.

557 days to ORD.

2009-07-27T23:17:00.000+08:00

woo,blogging format's different. got a long MC break. had high fever and stuff so went home. 3 days above 39. i wasnt feeling weak though. really bored. didnt wanna spread to others also. cos i spread to my mum. she had fever and took mc.

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

2009-07-19T19:23:00.002+08:00

this week was busy. pt super xiong, plus outfield. only came back to camp this morning, sunday 1am. then still need clean rifle, then slept. woke at 530 to book out. outfield was dirty but fun. we were the enemies for rifle companies. so anyhow fire at them. quite shiok. fired near 200 rounds. abit like rambo. haha.

next week off in lieu cos of this week. going out with selene most probably, and going to gym. the AIT period's over. not gonna be so tiring i guess.

i think i know why. I THINK I KNOW WHY NOW. its not the present. its the past.

2009-07-12T19:36:00.003+08:00

short but tiring week in camp. fri had driving test. break too much traffic rules. mainly "failure to ensure safety". nvm, can always try again, no hurry. yesterday went gym with stuly, then met guan for dinner. soup spoon. then went to some flea market. bought some earings. obviously not for myself. guan bought shoes.

today.church.gave rena her present which i kept at home for quite some time.

last tues was arranging pics and sorting them. happen to see how stupid and retarded i was. seriously. not sour grape, but seriously. i think at least i like the right person now. next week sat burned, might not even come for mass. too much time in camp. planned the year end concert already. even had time to think of the small details. thought for mr bong his bari stuff. of course, her.

too much time isnt always good. 近水楼台先得月

willing to put my big ego down but its always difficult to woo someone in army.

2009-07-07T16:26:00.003+08:00

just some random thoughts and encounters.

was doing guard duty on thurs night. thank god its on a weekday! its quite tiring though. walk 2 hours ( around 5km), sleep 4 hours, walk again. morning came and we didnt really have to patrol/prow already. so i became the one that checks bag. so happened that one old uncle came to my station and i found some cigarettes. so i just randomly said, this is not counterfeit right. then he replied in a rather impatient tone. of course its real, if not i show u for what. ok, i was thinking who is this cocky man.who just probably works in the canteen. note: he's wearing civilian clothes.
afternoon went for lunch saw this man. wearing uniform. na ma. warrant officer. dont think i offended him.

oh yesterday saw sharron at orchard, though she didnt see me. coincidental.

saw one of the kids i taught. saw the parent twice at the same mall. couldnt rmbr who she was, although super familiar. until the second time she walked with her boy then i rmbr. woo. flashed back memories. i seriously learnt alot there. this is human nature. being judgemental is part of us. for example. everyday someone does his job well. probably for 10 years. so one day, he did something wrong. everyone will just think and look at that wrong he did, not taking into consideration the good he has done. this is normal. i'm serious!

sometimes i envy rich people like guan, kenneth. they buy things like no need much consideration. while i need to consider opportunity cost. or maybe its just me being thrifty. i'm
neither poor nor rich. perhaps just above average. guan's a lucky fat woman.

my bunk mates call me RCK(rifle cleaning kit), which actually means, random cock king. am i really too random.

2009-07-07T12:37:00.002+08:00

got into new camp at loyang area, just behind guan's house. more xiong than bmt, everyday pt. people there are selfish and blur. no joke. some blur already, still cocky. these are usually the selfish ones, see u in need of help also die die wouldnt help. but blur's the main thing. everyone there's from jc, but they dont seem to have basic common sense plus blur is seriously written on their face. HOW DID I MANAGE TO LAND THERE. its a torture to work with blur people. i'm impatient.maybe its supposed to be a time for me practice tolerance.

had nights out and went tamp fish and co with my army friends. full of nonsense just because of a pretty Myanmar waitress .
last week booked in early, on sat night so didnt really have time to blog. this week only came out on sat night, but got 2 days off in due. went straight to guan's birthday party since its so near.

yesterday went out with my neighbour to gym, catch transformers. ate at mahattan fish market. took couple seats. then we went to orchard for dinner and far east for his clothes. realised what we just did seems to look like gay couple. lol. then guan met us up. almost bought her 300+ agnes b bag. rich people is like that.

some people just need to be more tactful in their choice of words/ tone. even when i'm angry/ quarreling, i dont really like to bring out points that kill. like those very sensitive ones. but some do.

i'm intending to lose another 10kg.

2009-06-21T21:54:00.002+08:00

tomorrow's booking in already. after i bathe then pack stuff. gonna be a little rush cos tmr needa wake up super early. things do happen for a reason, coincidentally or not. bass outing yesterday. its different nowadays. uncle sam will get what i mean i believe. disappointed though. double impact. if u include that one, which is actually affecting me quite a bit, then it'll be triple impact. one of the impact has already been there.

2009-06-20T00:14:00.002+08:00

this block leave spent alot of money. nothing better to do means go out. went out with ang mo quite a few times, sometimes at night. went straight to church after that. just came back from BBQ at glen's house. seriously some people disappoint me. anyways, i got posted to some camp near guan's house. seriously underpay me. tomorrow bass outing.

hopefully becomes hope fully gone.

2009-06-10T08:20:00.002+08:00

POP lo. finally got out of that cursed island. caused me to fall sick. completed 24km route march with abrasions and blisters though. i'll definitely rmbr all the commanders, the nonsense stuff that i did. morning rui jie wake me up, telling me i'm the last already. everyday fall in last, sometimes late. so many things! friends that i'll rmbr, but some are really bastards though. alright man. its block leave now, before i turn into a man. its more or less confirmed. 100%, i already lost 45%. thanks to that flu/fever and stuff. though i got some Att C. but its definitely not worth it man. but anyways i've already accepted the fact.

i must say bmt is fun, though a little though cos its a totally different lifestyle compared to at home. sergeant gerald put on jockey cap for me, cos my parent is overseas. quite sad to leave my bunk mates, but we'll meet again for sure.

tinge of disappointment.

2009-05-29T23:32:00.002+08:00

att C for 3 days again. MO defintely loves me alot. so i spent 2 nights in camp including sunday night this week. anyways, was quite happy during att c though. but i might just be a rifleman,storeman,driver or medic cos i missed my sit test. apparently its a long story.

guy who passed away recently's like from my neighbouring company. like i could have walked past him a couple of times, or even chatted with him( i usually randomly chat with people) and because we share one of the staircases/ lifts. now i'm thinking of what i can do while being a man. like fully utilise the time. because i cannot do anything to change the planning for RE RE sit test, or what so ever. so yea.

SMU accepted me. most likely there ba. for now.

2009-05-16T20:19:00.002+08:00

exciting week. mon 12km route march.did with flu and cough. at 10km mark. i think dehydrated, plus mucus block my breathing airway. started to have heat cramps. fingers curled up. sergeant ask me if i wanna give up know. vomitted. then ask safety rover come in. siow. i dont wanna give up with 2 more km. need to redo. then chiong to sit test site. kept drinking water. tell sergeant die die dont wanna give up. first day of sit test. 3rd mission. vomit again, this time i really whole body no strength. mucus keep coming out. coughing non-stop. there's always another day to train. lol. cos medic tell me flu attack heart. BYE BYE. and my cough and flu 5 days already. went back to bunk and slept for 12 odd hours. then did sai gang. but keep sleeping.

thurs, went to see MO. cos my mucus and phlem got blood! i never nose bleed in my entire life before. then MO ask me if i got relatives got TB. wow. then x ray and stuff. finally finish. at noon, i went at 7 plus. then gave me ATT C. WTF. i seriously at that time nothing much already. then ok why not. can go home. so went home and slacked. seriously. book in on sun with the rest. 2 day extra. fri went out with sb, my dad brought us to a wrong place though. but a chit chat is nice. smu and nus interview on fri and today. more confident of smu one. but if i get nus, i'll accept it immediately. name of sch sounds good. lol. both interview's group. nus has role play. played manager, smu chit chat plus GP compre+ essay. " if u're to set a question for uni admission, what will it be, why?" so yea. bird was in same group as me. damn zun. after that lunch with guan and bird at fish and co. came home rested. booking in tomorow!

nothing much to look forward this weekend.

2009-05-10T15:42:00.002+08:00

2weeks confinement due to field camp's over! first week was just normal. let me elaborate more about field camp. i think its 10 times worse than OBS. my company's quite good.efficient. like by 4th week, we finished most stuff supposed to be done. first 2 days slept in basha but apparently no drainage, so water still flowed inside. slept in water. cos i simply dont care.too tired to think. learnt alot of stuff though. even learnt about life philosophies from my PC. 3rd day went to 2nd site. slept cowboy style for first and last night. meaning. just sleep on the ground. no shelter. 4th day slept inside shell scrape. best is, sleep in the rain. my sec com wanted to steal my rifle when i was sleeping! but apparently i was alert la. my bunk mates were surprised how i could sleep with my facing down and the ground sheet was wet. lol. then during duty not supposed to sleep la. but i think its damn difficult. at night so cooling, no one to talk to, comfortable position( ok, not so), nothing much to do. to counter this u have to keep eating and drink water. lol.

since fri had been home resting. having flu and cough. just now came back from mass. i think i'm leading my life with no purpose now. nowadays also hardly talk to guan,dot brother, dog or anyone. sian. abit boring though. but next week going out with sel and bryan for dinner! ok g2g pack stuff for book in lo.

2009-04-26T18:09:00.002+08:00

lets talk abit on enlistment. first 3 days i think, admin stuff, mostly lectures. after that starts to warm up with more PTs. shot live range already. marksman though my gun had IA aka faults. bunk mates are generally fine. my platoon the sergeants nice people and i respect the sir sia. serious. field camp. so kena confined another 2 weeks. had fun though, but quite irritated with blur people. dont even know whats going on kinda people. another kind is the suck up, try to lead people with authority, but apparently there's none. i'm refering to fellow recruits btw. for eg. they'll try to impress sergeants " GUYS, HURRY UP, etc etc" u get what i mean. OCS's probably their dream. besides that i brought in enough supplies for myself to last for 9 weeks.

driving test also coming up. book out day went home to sleep already, damn tired. sat went out in the afternoon to get supplies with my mum, then at night bbq. today, went church, just came back home. now gonna prepare to go off already. quite happy on book out day. cos i was filled in with details by sms. hope it can cont like this.

tough fight. there're a few people that i thought of in camp. u're one of them.

2009-04-11T01:15:00.002+08:00

wed was last day at maris connection. abit she bu de my boys. but not til the extent of crying. had OT the other day. and went early the next day to settle accounts. so my boss gave me 1 day off with pay:)

smu called me up to arrange for an interview. after that, smu's line got hooked up with mine! which means, u call smu= call my hp. at first i was busy working, so told them wrong number. after a while, found out that they called smu's hotline and the hotline's calling me (from my caller-id). irritating at first, but i found a fun way to deal with it. its mean though. lol. since i was speaking from smu's point of view, i "arranged" interviews with the guys. i didnt intend to prank girls. so i just anyhow pong one date " how about an interview next monday, 7pm." HAHA. quite funny. they believed even when my background was the mrt announcement " call 999 for any suspicious looking.....". funny funny. haha. called m1 and they could do nothing about it. called smu and they told me there's no such prob-.- somehow its been settled though.

thurs went to do relief teaching at rvps. she didnt come. after that cant make it for mass although my dad fetched, cos of traffic jam. but went for "journey to the west". those churchs are cool though.
today service at 3pm. tomorrow booking in. excited!
i seriously think learning begins in the womb. some songs like oldies. i seem to have a link or connection when i listen to it. has a feeling that i heard it before. haha. cool huh. maybe its deep inside my brain.
there used to be this piece of flesh within the body. one day, due to external forces, the veins,arteries broke. capillaries are still around. the cells didnt die but was weak. soon the white blood cell took over and starting to reconstruct the flesh. but now, the veins and arteries are built in a different way from the original, although the cells are somewhat similar. it now has a different function.

a little disappointed. prayers not really answered.

2009-04-07T12:27:00.003+08:00

some updates after bali trip. went back to work. rmbr-ed had a Seoul garden dinner with classmates. bird and the rest were sharing about army life. but its not worth at all. $25 bucks for all meat (adult price). went out with dog on a friday night i think. of course went stations be4 that. these few days seriously very bored at work. at home. probably i've no goal in mind. no target at work. all i'm looking forward to is army, which is not really a goal. my ultimate goal. is her, though the process has slowed down quite abit. i guess everyone's busy with their lives for now. wait til i come out from bmt, with more confidence of myself,meaning getting rid of that tummy.

weird thing, tummy seems to be getting bigger, waist getting smaller, now like 31. but yet weight maintains. i also not say everyday drink beer. i dont think its beer belly too. very tired nowadays, one shot sleep 9-11 hours. probably good things dont really happen so often in reality, but more in dreams.

Some reflection after bali trip and being a sch teacher as well as a relief teacher. well, about teaching first. i think its really not my kind of job. so monotonous and pay isnt that high. stressful and long working hours, only good thing is stable pay. students nowadays also quite smart, but comes along with rude and mischievous. not easy to teach. parents like to complain alot too. kia su.

Bali Trip. Saw many really pretty girls in bikini along beach area as well as water theme park. i pondered. there are indeed countless of pretty girls around, but i believe i would prefer one with a nice character, like the one of course. i rmbr-ed selene said before. a person with more beautiful features tend to hide more of its ugly side behind it.

Another thing. some tend to tell me they don't really care how others think of them. i used to be like that too. but now i realised, actually it is impossible to do that when you're living with humans. people comment on you, but if the words get to someone of higher authority than you, of course the effect of this comment may lead to a change in your boss's actions, etc etc. it will still somehow affect you no matter what though.

thurs is journey to the west. maybe might miss mass before that due to work. will update again before i enlist on sat.

2009-03-30T22:21:00.003+08:00

the only thing i rmbr-ed was. serene had a wire pierced through her shoe and feet. funny thing is. no blood. dot told me she's accidental prone. i thought it was quite funny. how do u actually manage to get a wire through your shoe and leg? i thought natural instinct will cause one to withdraw the leg at first instance? haha. it was funny. and it was just work work work until the 24th

packed my bag a few hours be4 going off. realised i forget to bring something for my dad's friend. my bag's only 3kg! went to airport and have late lunch. popeye. it's still as nice. after that check-ed in and melvin went shopping. boarded the plane and went off! took a video of taking off. touched down. airport is run-down. reached arrival hall. instantly my dad's friend, uncle philipe called my name. took the hard rock car to the hotel. run-down hotel. 3 star. yeap. LOCAL. 3 star. swimming pool water like pond kinda thing. when we checked in they told us, we dont have a reservation. so we had to stay over for a night first.cos agency was closed. after that, went to hard rock for dinner. menu same as sg. after that went to bali bombing site for a look.

2nd morning. went for breakfast. wanted to try Balinese breakfast.come out.fried rice. the portion is seriously 1 mouth-full. went to had A&W and get bread be4 moving out to a water theme park called waterbom. it was good and fun man. so much bigger than wwwet. sunburnt totally even after suntan-ing lotion.then went to shop for cheap clothings and get back to hotel.cheap clothing means. 1 singlet is like 3 dollars sing max. nyepi, a festival. whole day cannot come out on streets. seriously. if not polis(thats how they spell it) will catch. at night no lights. if have, draw curtains. so we decided to change to hard rock hotel. this is good. INTERNATIONAL- 4star. evening. went to the beach. at night, buffet dinner. 20+ sing dollars. played pool. yeap.i soaked the the bathtub every time i bathe.

3rd day. NYEPI. ate hotel's breakfast.gym, swimming pool, jacuzzi and sauna whole day.since we cant get out. bread for lunch. played pool. wanted to rent DVD player to watch pirated DVD we bought. but all are rented out. at night called for room service. food was ok. had local beer. after that watched "I AM LEGEND" on HBO. went to the bar for free welcome drink. went back hotel room. i think bryan vomited. too much beer. i was watching pink panther though. haha.

4thday! had breakfast and checked out. uncle philipe rented a car and drove us out of kutta beach. another beach for water sports. tried jet ski and para-sailing. it was good man.para sailing was just a nice experience. jet was speed. swam in sea water for a while. then changed in public. yes. totally naked. then went to shop for souvenirs. it was so cheap. not say i dont wanna get something expensive. but everything's CHEAP. spent around 50 bucks. then went to eat again. teochew food. ALSO CHEAP. going on a holiday means. just put your weight aside - quoted from uncle philipe. eat ice cream like free too. bought ORIGINAL converse shoe for not even $15. in sg its sold for 80. exact place where sg converse order their shoes from. after that we headed for the airport. i'm a poor man. so i only used $110 cash. in total. whole trip only spent around $500. including hotel and airticket, food etc.

Although Bali's a nice place for couples to go. i dont think its safe for girls to go. even in groups. first night. i saw this ang mo. went around touching girl's boobs. yes. not only 1girl . i dont know if he's drunk or what. but. seriously. even those ang mos in groups with guys. cannot react in time. girls in front kena taken advantage. then guys behind come that time, the cuprit already fled. firstly. guy friends will help to fight back in this kinda situation in a foreign land?i doubt so. if boyfriend possible. i'm confident i will. so next time probably i'll bring my gf there. nice place though.

2009-03-17T11:03:00.002+08:00

sat went for NUS openhouse. found out a little more about biz. that's gonna be my first choice. haven thought of other choices. after that went for driving. learnt perpendicular parking and 3 point turn. need to register for driving test later. but not sure if i can get out of army.

sun went to bryan's house after mass. fell asleep there. then came home.

yesterday went to work as usual.but came across something that made me envy. like. wah. how i wished.

2009-03-11T19:52:00.002+08:00

mon-fri i believe. i'll be taking 2 jobs! i'm down with blocked nose too. damn tiring. with drowsy effect of medicine. yet cannot sleep. at night. some times i'm awaken by the worst case scenario. and a matter. talked to old woman and uncle sam for a while about unis. think i've got my plans. need to go out with turtle group, sim, dot, backrow gang,bass, young people in stac, melvin? bali trip. all done be4 enlistment. ok i've got to go. need to sleep like now. 4-5 hours a day is killing me.

2009-03-08T23:15:00.003+08:00

fri went to work. but morning get to know results already. after that took a cab down to collect from guan. guess who's the person i called first to tell her about my results! although she didnt answer first time i called. selena was the first to pick up my call. went out to get sharron's present.

sat, went to SMU open house. what the hell seriously. saw sharron in NUM. i was shocked. seriously. like so qiao. actually i was looking at the NUM bags. lol. she should get what i mean i guess. anyways. after that met up with dot and queen. SMU seems so. cool? the sch's like a mrt station with shopping facilities. talked to older people. then sorta know what i'm going at. decision making soon. just gonna try scholarships. no harm trying although chances are low. after met bryan to get sharron's shampoo from body shop.

this morning was happening! after mass, rushed home to get sharron's birthday cake! then ran down la. seriously. hope she's touched and happy :) after that was seminary. its a nice place la. but i'm not really interested in being a priest. i'm not so holy. besides i have her in my mind always. how to?

tomorrow its relief teaching and maris all the way til thurs or fri.woo. rushing down again. no time to get testimonials for scholarship! needa check out more online now. hmm. ok gotta go bye!

2009-03-05T21:49:00.002+08:00

sun went to louise house after mass. tues went to make passport. wed and thurs went to river valley to do moe relief. then rushed down to maris. a little late, but who cares. tomorrow's the big day.

i think i understood why i was feeling weird that day. cos i was bored. no games. friends in army/working/sch. my job is boring. then with the stress of a level results coming out tomorrow. tomorrow maybe not even collecting results cos my job the in charge asked me to stay behind. cos seriously lack of manpower. so i agreed. cannot break promise. worried of course worried la. maybe reach there around 5 plus. lucky yesterday and day before didnt have enough sleep. super tired. so tonight can sleep. haha. i dont wanna disappoint my teachers sia. sian. always after the exam. then i'll find the paper easy and that i could have done better without being lazy.
if results are good, or acceptable to myself, i'll post it up here. if not. then it shant be known.

and i haven bought sharron's birthday present!

Panic.

2009-02-28T21:36:00.003+08:00

wed went gym with bryan, then to work. at night went for 8pm mass. thought i could catch a glimpse of her but didnt. fri went to gym alone then after that work. today went to morning star for brainstorming session. i think my ideas are like the best though. self praise is no praise. then went for carwash. fun but something's lacking though. then went to chill at hgm with uncle sam. old woman, ivan. then went home.

feeling weird inside now. something's wrong with me.i only wish for some tiny little bit of C from C.

2009-02-24T20:31:00.002+08:00

had so much on my mind. be4 valentine's. then for jobs. wanted to take up a cleaner job with bryan for fun. bryan takes it for pay. then bangla tell me call back tomorrow. then wtf. today i called another indian man picked up then tell me. no more vancacy. i tell him your staff tell me call back today. he say sry sry sry. like got use.

last sat.went out with fatty guan to orchard. recieved an sms that brightened my entire day. guan bought a pair of shoes. i didnt get anything. however. some standard chartered guy approached me. i assume he thinks i'm a working adult such that i have savings of 2k everymonth?! i think thats even more than my salary.

sun. went to mass as usual. sometimes i wish i could get my license faster.

mon was jobless.went gym alone for the first time.quite effective. i've been jogging for past 2 days. hope to slim down abit. give myself some more confidence.

today went back to maris to work. same as usual. pay still low. i'm just gonna be contented with this. and not aim for too much.

2009-02-21T00:13:00.003+08:00

sun had mass and went to hairy's place after going to bryan's place! after that went home. mon went to do relief teaching at river valley primary. not too bad a sch. funny things like p2 student telling u " teacher he cut my queue." and teaching them moral ed when i'm not so "hao gong ming". theres a student who pointed middle finger at me. got pissed off and scolded him til he had tears in his eyes. of course cannot use violence :) sometimes they were complaining. "teacher! he scold the f-word." the kids dont even dare to say that word out. irony is. they dont know their teacher uses it quite often too.

went home early thought lesson finish already. actually need to stay until sch bell rings.luckily i clocked more than 5hour 30mins.if not half day's pay. after that had driving. taught chinese for 2 days. wed there was no need for me. thurs. TAUGHT ART. WOW. i'm shocked too. made me panic and did research online before going to class.
thurs went again. then today never go. went to lavender. wanted to get passport done. but forgot to bring old passport. went for interview at beach road. what the hell. 60 people for 20 people's position. door to door. based on number of sales. where got so easy. what the hell seriously. decided to leave. maris that side is asking me to go back. but of course. MOE relief earns more. so unless the in charge allows me to go late. if not i cant go back. i most likely wouldnt give up the moe job lor.

today went to bong's house. then left to hougang point for dinner. sakae bufet. bloody full and sinful. dont konw need to run how much to lose those calories. OMG. its already been 1 week since that night. thinking of it just feels like it just happened!

2009-02-15T20:07:00.008+08:00

sat morning worked on refinement of secret project, cos that was the night. then after that went to bryan's house to sit for a while with hairy and bong. hairy decided to let me pinch her for the rest of her life. cannot avoid also. lol.

today went to mass, then hgm, bryan's house then hairy's house. fell asleep there. just reached home and had dinner.

THIS NIGHT.
actually the reply was quite expected, cos i inferred from the convs. of course i have to make it clear. panic panic. waited for 3 hours though. i think it was worth it. at least its not inside me already. already hidden for 1 year, without telling those people. treating me as normal/good friend is good enough, although expected too. i tend to think alot, thats why i've thought of various possibilities. i must say, its super super super crazy and daring can. whole Singapore also know now. paiseh + shy. i wouldnt change my mind still. i'm serious. actually initially i didnt disclose it cos i dont know if u'll mind. knowing that u dont now, i think its ok for people to find out. of course it'll kill my ego! but since i'm serious about liking you, i wouldnt mind killing my ego.

i believe theres some possibility, even if its gonna take seconds,minutes,days,months,or even years. waiting is not a prob. pardon me for being irritating in the future if i would, but i'll try my best. it'll help if you could probably fill me in with details like what you're doing, what you like and stuff. helps me know u better, of course, i wouldnt force you to do so, since u'll have to first be comfortable.

i'm quite happy that u're touched. honoured to be that first guy. thanks for giving me that pleasure. i think last night, it fulfilled the purpose of my trip. i believe the surprise element is still there. pray that u read this post. although i know its super scary, but i think this kinda thing must be done face to face. so i did it!

maybe since we're on this topic. probably wanna remind you about events starting from vday, exams, birthday,Christmas,new year. maybe everything that i've done.i remember there was once, i woke u up from your sleep. i still cant forget that sleepy voice. haha.anyways. hope u can feel the sincerity cos i believe actions speak louder than words.

THANKS FOR THE CONCERN PEOPLE, APPRECIATE IT.

2009-02-13T11:28:00.002+08:00

ok. lets start from celebration of my sis bdae. went to dad's clubhouse to eat. omg. jap restaurant. LIVE lobster. when i ate it, its still moving. sashimi. actually not much taste, but texture is good. then after that, there was of cos sushi set, lobster tempura,lobster soup, grilled lobster all inside the lobster set. quite cheap. i think only 322 or something.

wed was talking to charmaine, then she sorta gave me the idea. so its sat. then as i was considering. fatty guan called me. asked me for an interview. OMG. so zun. then i decided to plan for it. so thurs fatty came over to my place for photo shoot. after that had lunch with her, then work. today's like last day of work already! dont really miss it though. next week starting relief teaching by MOE. its the bomb. pay so good. anyways. going off to work now. tomorrow is the bomb!

panic panic panic panic panic. i feel like a great sinner. only when i need god then i pray. hiyo. jia lat.

2009-02-09T23:26:00.002+08:00

sat morning my driving instructor forgot got lesson! then after that went to gym. so crowded. after that i went home and slept. at night went to bai nian. sat night i couldnt sleep well.alot of things going in my head. this is one of the rare few times i cant sleep.

sun, went for mass. after that went for breakfast and went to beach road. wanted to get some singlet, but decided not to. took bus to vivo and caught love matters. quite funny,but i think the plot not very good. then went to help melvin play for his mass. christine is really rich, gave 12 bucks angpow, despite recession. i think my mum this year also reduce to the cheapskate 4 already. then went to selene's house downstairs for 2 dollars opera meal. after that walked home.

today went to work as usual,before that gym. and tomorrow, is my sis's birthday! later pass her the present. mp3 player again. bought mp3 player for my mum and sis. now pocket burnt.

i seriously think the ONE, is damn hard to find in this world. maybe even harder than THE one. this sat is the bomb. i panic! i know thats a natural thing but i cant do anything to help it! how i wish i was in that scenario. sometimes after i post, i cant even rmbr what i was talking about actually. so yea. by the way. rena's not in the one kinda thing.

P&W- pissed & worried.

2009-02-06T23:59:00.002+08:00

thurs went to work late. found excuse as family stuff, went to have lunch with rena at amk hub. lol. fish and co. then went to work as usual. at night came home celebrate dad's birthday at some jap restaurant! it was just average la.not that fantastic.fri went to work as usual.now i'm back home. tomorrow morning driving. i guess i'm getting the hang of it. after that going gym with daryl and bryan.

i'm jobless now! the bloody bank tell me its like a confirmed job. then i quit the childcare, asked charmaine to take over. now tell me like that. i say i go holiday only their face change. i know one day got 100 calls. 4 days is 400. shouldnt have told them i going on holiday. plus i wear t-shirt and jeans.too careless. damn it.

i know probably life cannot go on without THE one, but i believe the ONE is also damn hard to find. now i seriously think what mr koh told me. some people are just irritating and selfish. i cant help to think that way, because actions seriously shows that. self-centred probably is a word most people now cant remove from their dictionary, but if its THE one, maybe can accept. maybe the ONE cannot. i worry for that day to come. but i guess its a risk i have to take.AR! panic. however, theres something else going in a different direction now in my head.

2009-02-04T20:04:00.002+08:00

fri night went to selena's house to do stac anniversary ice cream cake. after playing cards and slacking, went home cos the ice cream cant freeze in time.

sat morning went back to selena's house to comeplete the cake. time was precious as well as time consuming. everything had to be done fast. the ice cream melted so quickly! after that went to my house to prepare yu sheng! after that, carried the stuff over to rena's house! played her games. the rest played guitar heros while me, chou, rena,Bong,anthia and someone else, cant remember who. playing some hotel game chou introduced. it was eeyrie but i dont feel that its scary. i think i only got shocked one time. watch ghost shows, the kena shocked part is the most shiok. but somehow that doesnt determine if its scary. i'm not really afraid of watching such shows, maybe cos i'm very curious about this kinda thing. supernature, of course i believe it exists. actually that was what i liked about rena's house that time :D then after that went to function room again, although we had lunch there. it was a success!

started with yusheng! after that was buffet. then had the QUIZ. had feedbacks that it was great! haha. actually i asked people to say that for ego boost. lol. the second part was less interactive, thats why i believe its less well-liked by the people. mr bong's choc fondue was quite popular too. catered food was nice also! oh ya. marilyn was almost dunked into the water! but i was quite irritated and pissed by something/someone. those who know will know. cleared up and went back home.

sun morning mass, after that went to rena's house. played awhile. had driving lesson. i think i'm getting better. heard guan is still stucked inside her circuit. max gear 2. HAHAHAHAH. after that went home to sleep.

mon went gym with bryan. good muscle endurance training. then after that i went to work. came home as usual. ran 6-7km with my neighbour. met bryan at 8pm.but he fell down so went back home. tues went to tampanies to register with kelly services, filled a form only. what the hell seriously.wasted my trip there.got my pay that day! with $100 angpow! cool right. at night went to paragon, finally got stock. my secret project material! omg. gucci wallet is only what. $390? super cheap can. i was "demand";willing and able to buy. bought my dad's birthday present and came home.

today had driving in the morning. then went to work, just came home. haven eat dinner yet! cos must wait for my father to eat together! today his birthday! so tired also. luckily i'm quiting the job at maris. i like brand new environments. widen my social circle as well as learn more. hope the bank reply me soon!

its so near, but yet so far! i dont know how to react! i hope it will be succesful on that day.

2009-01-30T11:11:00.002+08:00

monday was chinese new year! i kinda like it for some reasons, or rather,mainly because of 1 reason! so morning went for mass. after that went to uncle sam's house watch CHI BI! it was good i think! after that went home to sleep before going to my ah ma's house! angpow shrunk! haha. after that came home, my paternal side relatives came over!
Tues went to louise house! talked rubbish and heard louise and friend play piano! ate alot of CNY goodies and dinner! then went over to granny place again, cos got other guests there!

Wed, went gym in the morning. after that went to work again :( it was so boring! after work went to meet bryan to complete stac anniversary stuff. do until around 10 before i left for home.

Thurs went for interview for bank job. its not a CONFIRM job. damn it. they say they'll pick from a list of people! omg. and i forgot. i wore TSHIRT AND JEANS. when i reached mrt then i realised what the hell am i wearing. DAMN IT. ARGH. then also late already, walk back also late. went there. supposed to look for Johnny. but i heard RICKY. so i went to find ricky. then he's on leave. so the boss came out and interview me with no resume at hand. after that i walked away. lucky i went to search for a toilet and pay my phone bill. then the actual person, johnny called me, and i was at the area. so i went back for the interview. after that went to work. at night went to my dad's place to eat with bern before meeting stuly for material of secret project. what the hell. the last one in 3 outlets. hope the stock comes in time.

Sometimes i wonder, if thats a good sign or not. i dont know if i should do it. its not like i want then i can just go do it. i need some chance and probably god has to help me la. i'm already suay enough not to get the relief teacher's job. then now i've to worry if i can get the bank job or not. if i dont, then i'll be in dead shit. still got secret project. haiz. sometimes i wonder why those people just cant keep secrets.

THE one can be the ONE. but yet the ONE cannot be THE one. most likely this one is THE one, but that one is most likely not the ONE. i compared and considered. i thought it might just be human nature, but its not. i can save 71 cents by walking 3 bus stops home. but yet, i can spend >$71 for the girl i like. i'm going crazy. thats 100 bus rides.

2009-01-26T01:38:00.001+08:00

fri morning went gym with my neighbour, be4 going to yck gym, went to apply for PDL. yay! actually gym doesnt slim me down, it only bulks me up. after that i went to work. and met him again to go bugis. got my pair of cheapo sneakers. converse sells it for $70, i bought for $17 . still got change of $1.10. comfort level is sacrificed but i think its still ok.

sat morning went to bryan's house to do some stuff for the stac anniversary programme. quite funny. after that i went to take my first driving lesson! so cool. drove on the road at 50km/hr. gear 3 know. i think i'm quite good at turning, but changing of gear, with the clutch needs more practice.engine stops sometimes. biting point not familiar yet. almost got into an accident! i pressed onto brakes too hard! the pedals are so sensitive can. even acceleration also. but the instructor say earilest i can pass is may. which defeats my point of learning it so quickly.

today! went for mass in the morning. then breakfast at hgm macs. then left for home. just had reunion dinner and mahjong until now! so fun! play until crazy. didnt win much today though. ate alot today during steamboat.

i need to clarify! my posts are not emo, they're just thoughts in my mind that are running wild and apparently theres no clear cut solutions to it. thats why it appears here. just like that time. went out with u alone. i wanted so badly to send u home, but the time just doesnt feel mature at that point still. i hope something will work out man. i'll try my best to work on it. if its what brother and guan say, then its quite bad! but if its my theory, which sounds biased to guan, then its good! i believe this is a road, that i MUST take so as to move on.

2009-01-22T22:03:00.002+08:00

i realised i haven been blogging. kinda busy and lazy. lets start from bass outing. we ate alot of food man. 2 stingrays, 2 BIG fried oyster,char kueh tiao,fried mee, satay, chicken wing,etc. then after that went to RKhouse for teh tarik. it was good man. after that took a bus home, me unclesam and bryan went to 401 for a talk. it was interesting, i'll try my best to do so. then bernard happened to be there.

sunday's mass, i think my playing is not on TOP form, but its quite ok. its always the pedal. maybe there's a certain technique.hmm. after that went to bryan's house to watch a movie. i came late. but feel asleep.woke up then left for home.
mon,tues had work and stuff.realised i missed 2 practical lessons for driving. that will be $142 gone.

wed, didnt work. went to sch to enquire about scholarships, just in case my results are good. its not the usual kind of just in case my results are lousy. not much confidence this time. then went to meet selene to go hitachi for awhile. after that went early to driving centre for BTT. i thought it was so difficult. actually i think can get full marks. make me panic for nothing.then when i finished 20 mins later. they tell me, sorry counter closed. like, wtf. 2 mins ago it was still open. ok lor. so i came back today. they tell me. PDL must apply upstairs. its 9-5. that means tomorrow must go again! what lousy service is that. the self service machine cannot use. then my final theory test is 7th march. chou's birthday. tomorrow last day of week. finally.

your msn nick and actions make me so not confident of myself.

2009-01-17T17:04:00.002+08:00

tues morn went to gym with my neighbour, after that went to work. its been like work home, home work until fri. when i met guan and dog at thai express after work for dinner. after that went suntec to walk, cos we're too late for movies. then after that went back home. on the way there. saw selena. like so zun. she was there for her company's D&D. after suntec, we walked to citylink where guan bought a pair of shoes. her feet stinks. not that i purposely to smell. but its just her feet stinks 20000m away. not say dog can smell better. after that went home.

this afternoon, woke at 12 plus. helped out with the CNY stuff cos deliever to maris on tues. abit rush for time already. now preparing to go for bass outing at serangoon gardens.

people in this era tend to be more selfish. probably i'm not perfect. but i might be the ONE for some people. but that potential the ONE doesnt really seem to fit whats in my mind though. thats not the main point. THE one doesnt seem to let me fit in. the other way round. i seem so detached. its gonna be a difficult one, i have this feeling inside me that no matter what i do, its not gonna work. not say totally different world but yet, the intersection is so minute. unless, one world opens up to the other. this will take some time. i thought it was already happening the other time, but it doesnt seem like it. it stopped sometime last year. this is weird.

i'm confused!

2009-01-12T11:18:00.002+08:00

did i mention that the forecast for our economy next year is from -1% to 2%? thats why, shouldnt spend so much money.
thurs stayed at home, helped my mum with the chinese new year goodies. bo bian, cos the relief teaching thing didnt call me! doing this can help me get some allowance though.
fri went to fetch my brother from school. i feel so guai, wooh. anyways. recieved a call from miss chin, went back to maris connection. an alumni board project thing. its a modified version of after school care. 1 day's allowance is only 35. note that i used allowance. later going back again.
sat, i helped with the CNY goodies again, abit pressed for time.that time went back to maris got 100+ bottles of orders. supposed to go sentosa with guan,but everyone was busy.
sun morning went to church with sore throat. here comes the interesting part.

heated discussion with mr conductor. sore throat makes me feel uncomfortable during singing. so i decided to play. so he asked me"are u going to come at 715, cos aunty is the one that reach at 715. meaning that aunty should play i think. he is just trying to use pressure of the 20 odd there to make me come eariler. i admit i'm rebelious, so i said "if everyone comes at 715, i'll come at 715". actually its for him mainly. sometimes i come eariler, only a few people's there. not even him. then he asked if i'm part of stac, i said YES. he asked again if i am gonna come at 715 next week. this time i'm getting hotter and hotter, but what was going through my mind was. uncle sam told me not to aruge with him infront of the young ones. respecting my teacher, i kept quiet when conductor asked me. so he repeatedly ask the qns. until one point. i said. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER. he said no. being retarded. he continued to ask the same question. ok fine, uncle sam's teaching. i kept quiet again. i said again, we talk abt this later. he kept saying no. so i informed him that it'll waste everyone's time. he murmured to himself, saying i'm 19. blar blar blar.

please la hor, u dont expect everyone to be your dog and listen to u. being a conductor that has NO interpretation of music, cant play basic scales, cant listen if the choir is sharp or flat. conduct during songs with rhythm box, and doesnt when there is NO rhythm box. do things without reason. just tell some random young people that he'll be taking a break, without even announcing to the choir, what kind of actions is this. everytime choir practice never come u expect young ones to tell u, but now u dont. after 1 week, instead of 3 months. suddenly appeared just to show off that he's a conductor. if he ever notice, i never looked at him when i'm playing for mass. its useless looking right. attitude problem conductor. i hope i'm going towards uncle sam's style now, to forgive and forget just by saying out here. best if he can read it and improve on himself. if he continues to choose the path to argue, i'm so sry uncle sam. i apologise in advance. probably the whole choir will know. nobody is stac've seen my blow my top be4. maybe its time.

i'm going to work now. see u people!

2009-01-07T20:50:00.003+08:00

mon woke up at 11am, failed to go gyming with my neighbour at 8am. i slept at 4am,trying to complete main course of secret project. but still cant finish. anyways, after that caught AUSTRALIA. quite a nice show. abit long, something like 2 shows combined into 1. after that, went to hunt for THAT material again. went home after that.

tues stayed at home to complete main course. finally did it, fingers are bloody pain. went to jog at night also.

today went to gym in the morning. after that bathed in gym and headed down to lavendar to drop my passport application form. mine expired already, need to make new one for bali trip. what the hell seriously. 10 years only. then i went orchard. cineleisure to find bryan's present. then hor, its out of stock already, and will never be in stock! need to buy him something for replacement. went to recruit express. need to find a job badly and quickly. waited quite long cos alot of people there. after that went to my dad's place for lunch. what the fish. 72 dollars for my meal. i think if it wasnt free, i wouldnt have gone there. after that went to walk around. D & G, Emporio Armani, LV, CK. saw the CK collar tee for 45. wanted to buy, but adult bus fare has burnt my pocket. still got more events that need money.

i think going in PES A or B is better than C or E. cos apparently, according to my son. u work 9 hours a day.730-930.only lunch is provided. pay is 400.
Pes A,B april batch.3 months of job so difficult to find. i rather go in now and dont need to worry about this. however, free meals all day lor, sometimes even supper.pay seems to be the same.
THE BEST IS STILL PES A,B jan batch, go in early finish early. i'm so unlucky:(

my dad bought for me new year clothes. its RED in colour.

2009-01-04T22:14:00.002+08:00

fri went out with my neighbour for movie and dinner at ikea as well as shopping for secret project materials. i think this specific material for secret project is damn hard to find. but i just hope people appreciate my efforts. haha. sat, wedding mass, before proceeding to melvin's house to book stuff for bali before going home. this morning alarm clock spoilt, so i woke at 8:10, missed mass. forgot to go for mass after that. after that went to watch bedtime stories, not say super funny la. after that louise's house to slack and dinner.

i felt weird inside for the past few days. although guan told me she felt it was me, but i dont know. i dont wanna pin too much hopes. signs and hints arent obvious enough. this will summarise what i feel. the main ones are the first 2 lines.

i'm envious, but not jealous
i'm not happy, but not sad
i'm observant, but not sensitive
i'm lazy, but determined
i'm confused, but clear-directed
i'm tired, but energetic
i'm irritated,but not angry
i'm anxious, but not worried
i'm daring, but shy
i'm in pain, but not suffering

2009-01-02T00:01:00.003+08:00

31st dec 08, went to meet hairy,louise, bryan at hougang mall. bought a creative muvo thing for my mum. then ate packet chicken rice in church. after that had mass. wanted to stay for countdown party in church, but was too crowded. so decided to go to bryan's house. oh, bryan got his birthday present from melvin. SO COOL. i'm envious. went to his house watched abit of tv, then sent teresa home. came home and continued my "secret project". finished about 4.
this morning woke up and ate macs breakfast,continued secret project still. created face book! it was quite fun, just like what chou said. tomorrow might be working as relief teacher already! if not i'll be going gym, then after that go bugis with my neighbour, and ikea for materials of secret project. anyways, i'm tagged by my daughter.

Instructions:
1. Each player of this game starts off w 10 weird things/ habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. At the end , you will need to choose 10 people to be tagged & list down their names.
3. People who get tagged need to post 10 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state the rules clearly.
4. No tag back.

10 weird things/ habits/little known facts about yourself:

1. I believe many know about this, i dont wear underwear at home. my dragon needs to relax :)
2. I dont take chili and i rather take salty food than sweet, proper meal, main courses than snacks or tibits.
3. I tried smoking for a while long before i was 18.
4. I drink alone at home(tiger with fish crackers is the bomb!) or compose something when i'm sad
5. I save money from walking instead of bus rides, but i spend hundreds on a luxury lifestyle. eg. mostly food, some clothes.
6. I love to watch movies and travel, but never alone!
7. Even if i'm late, i wouldnt take a cab (unless its VERY important stuff like exams, school's not considered important), maybe that explains why i'm always late.
8. I cant draw for NUTS. Say serious. not even nuts
9. Most people haven seen me got angry before, because i do not want to destroy friendships, for i value relationships alot in general.
10. I like gifts with sincerity as well as practical use.

10 people to be tagged:
1. Audrey Tan
2. Bryan
3. Selene
4. Sharron
5. Hai Whye (omg, i realised i keep calling u turtle, i forgot how to spell your name!)
6. Jasmine Sim
7. Jasime Low
8. Daryl bong
9. Brian Bong
10. Louise

tried not to use nicknames. probably the first time in many years u heard me calling your real name? ok g2g. happy new year people!

2008-12-30T23:34:00.002+08:00

today went to gym with my neighbour. after that came home for combined lunch with him, eating last night's left over food. spicy chily crab dip,fish and chips, his mum's fried aglio, almost wanted to eat cheese cake. brought back by my dad last night. after that went down to far east cos stuly wanted to get his shoes, similar to my prom's white one. he bought a printed tee instead, 25bucks with history communist characters. which i thought wasnt worth.

anyways, made our way to calvin klein. where we bought 2 shirts. mine is long sleeve his is printed design. 70each. i thought it was quite good. but apparently, his mum's not really happy, i guess its too expensive for him, i'll check out that situation tomorrow. felt a little guilty but anyways, he bought his shoes at BATA in the end. pedro was way over his budget and far east didnt had the design he wanted. caught twlight with him at gv. met his parents at kovan for a lift home, as well as a visit to popular. gave ikea a miss. but i think i'll most likely go down again. ate sushi and packet fried rice+ suasages from carrefour for dinner, at starbucks table without buying any drink!

2008-12-30T00:12:00.002+08:00

26th dec! went to selena's house. reached at 2pm? played games like 99 and others.i brought whiskey,but very little drank. i think black label taste and smell best. stayed for dinner. uncle sam bought jolly! went home after that.

27th was bryan's birthday! went to vivo to catch yes man. the movie wasnt that fantastic. quite boring at parts.too much details i think.plot wasnt that good either. after that dinner at bryan's house. then went home after playing cards.

28th went to bryan's house, had some private talks, get to know people's past. while others get to know mine. then went home to sleep, before packing my room.

29th, jean came to my house to learn piano. didnt charge her fees of course. spent my half day. tomorrow, 30th.going gym and town with my neighbour, and a special trip to ikea for a secret project. alright.thats about it.

2008-12-26T00:51:00.002+08:00

22nd dec went to marilyn's house for caroling! actually this year home to home caroling wasnt the key, so just had fun. standard abit off, but i guess what's most important was bonding and have fun.had party there. drank many many barcadiS, even drank chou's reserved share.haha.had so much fun.talking and chit-chating.
23rd dec went to tan tok seng for caroling. heard that we wasnt on top form at the atrium. didnt notice, just found that tempo was off.anyways, went up to ward and sang. it was fun! after that i went to get stuff for christmas present while the others went out. night had prac.

24th dec. chou and bryan came my house, both to settle christmas presents. chou and i shared the cards for STAC people. then basses shared the special present for uncle sam. credits to chou for writing the lyrics!after that went to church alrdy.
midnight mass was horrible. old woman says i'm not on form :( anyways, slipped my finger for pslam la! damn shameful, seriously. joy to the world cant get the effect cos volume of organ was not loud enough, not connected to mikes. choir sound was not that fantastic although volume was there.very messy and stuff.jesu played sucessfully without error, but it wasnt my best.

anyways, after that went to jeremy's house to eat. sjb was there. slept arnd 5am. then woke up, missed mass met melvin and old woman for breakfast.after that went to arnald's house. not sure abt the spelling. he kept asking me to drink,i felt bad so i started drinking. then karoke after that came home. drank again. drank 3 times in a day. had so much food also. growing like a fat donkey now.

just finished watching forensic heros.ending must be joke.20000 people run to hospital.i thought madam ma so decent, she was pregnant before she was proposed!ok. anyways.this year christmas is a joyous occasion but the mood for me isnt there!

i guess it's a good thing for me too :D i'm glad all these happened. but there's still a question for me. that troubled me a few days ago. when i go on stage, i usually dont get nervous, but when i did that, i was bloody nervous. anyways, although it may not be mutual but i'll try my best! i know i'll be bloody disappointed if i fail. my neighbour got me a couple pig thing-.- but it was wonderful.

Thanks everyone for the christmas presents!

2008-12-21T17:14:00.004+08:00

90 words

i'm not too sure if this score is good or bad. try it on the webbie. tell me your scores! haha.that pharse is 90 words in a minute.some parts of it cant be seen.

concert was 2 days ago. i guess it was alright. not the best, but yet not the worst. but something bad happened. anyways. the whole day was fun la. good experience but tough price to pay. oh, i heard guan got her iphone. i'm stucked with black and white. anyways, i need to learn the driving soon. still got drama series haven watch finish. hiyo. guitar starting to get something out of it liao. the pianist and organist for the concert was good man.

yesterday went for wedding mass with melvin the old. chinese mass with english songs and latin mass orders. so we're paid 30 each, while uncle sam got 200! but they gave melvin 1k man. anyways. after that went to crystal jade, melvin treated. haha. then i went home to bathe and change. then photocopied score and rushed to church. prac was fine.

this morning, came to church 10mins eariler. wanted to prac, but did warm ups. then after mass had breakfast and short prac be4 some people came with us to hgm. then they came my house. just had my lunch and dinner, going for a nap now. see ya soon.

2008-12-18T22:31:00.002+08:00

i neglected my blog for awhile! things were fine for a while. cant rmbr what i wanted to blog alrdy. oh, sold tickets in church! got more donations than value of tickets sold. Individual category first! team category was hairy and louise! haha. pracs were ok. jesu needs alittle more prac on the organ. piano one i think can alrdy.

went wild wild wet yesterday, then went to guan's house for dinner. these few days got hooked onto the forensic heroes 2 videos. packed my room slightly too.
today went shopping for my pants in orchard. while guan sents kenneth's I phone for repair. now the iphone's at my house, so i can pass to kenneth, since guan's going holiday soon. got the pants i was thinking of. but rather expensive.compared to others. but i guess its for long term usage and heavy duty know. relief teaching requires that, and concerts need that. so i invested on one good one. stupid dog and guan say i take damn long to choose. its abit long la, but i dont wanna make the wrong choice sia. its not cheap stuff anyway, besides i'm not rich such that even if i buy wrong its ok. if i bought something that after awhile isnt that ideal. i think that will be a waste of money.

tml's concert alrdy. and christmas is coming, i haven got gifts for people! my parents also going overseas without me, cos of this concert. but i'm sure i'll have fun in sg. haha.

i'm now on a secret project. do until hand , esp finger tips pain. i hope its worth it. its not guitar btw. old woman now knows whats, THE one and the ONE right. i think THE one is there,most likely, but the ONE is most likely, NOT. was thinking at the apple shop. a general comment, i seriously think rich people dont treasure their stuff as much as poorer people, probably its a norm for them. be it cheap stuff or expensive stuff, looking at different classes of people, i made this comment.
anyways, need to sleep early tonight! good bye.

2008-12-10T23:41:00.002+08:00

ok before i go on, i needa rant. i damn disappointed with you. what the shit, i cant sense any form of sincerity in it. what are you doing man. utterly disappointed.

have been helping out with my dad with some food demo the past 2 days. quite tiring. oh. found a job as a relief teacher. at monfort junior, with the help of my primary school teacher. calculated that without weekends but i forgot to count public holidays. i'll earn $4095 across 3 months. which is quite little. anyways i will finish at 130pm everyday. go to work 630am everyday.so i was thinking of taking up night shift jobs. to earn more money, if not also nothing to do at home. my primary sch teacher's pregnant! cool right. 7months. didnt know until i called her yesterday. haha.

tonight had prac in church. sops improve quite abit on pitching. projection wise still needs to work on it. yep. concert on 19th.

2008-12-08T23:43:00.002+08:00

sat morn had wedding mass.after that went out with guan and dog for a movie. then went for prac. although i'm super tired and i had to sleep early. but i still went. then sunday morning! woke at 5plus. then went down for standard chartered 21.1km. i guess i was abit too late and ended up at the end of the queue. last year me and uncle sam reached at 445am. this year i reached at amost 620. haha.saw my cousin on the journey. this year TOTALLY nvr train was a mistake man. last time i can skip drink stations. this year. every drink station need to rest sia. like bloody tired. but my timing was only 10mins off last year's. hmm. starting actually quite infront one. then in the middle slow down like some dog. then in the end 2 hour 40mins. i think even if i train at most at most only 2 hour 10mins lor. but anyways, that was a great experience. after that bryan,selena,eunice,louise,marilyn,ignitius,brian came to my place. although i was tired and needed a sleep! played games be4 i slept for 2 hours. then went for prac for concert for awhile, mass then prac for mid night mass again.

this morning supposed to take 136 at 830. woke up with servere aches, cant walk properly actually. but i tried to la. but apparently, me and chou came a little late. so we two were sorta left at the bus stop. we arent exactly late la. just that uncle sam is early, as usual. then me and chou went on the nxt 136 and met daryl. old woman's uncle wedding btw. then weddding reception. after that chou had to go, so i sent her off, be4 proceeding to selena's house for card games! lol. now i know the secret to long hairy arms. afternoon naps! hairy said thats her MUST DO everyday.haha. then i came home and sleep. these few days playing the daryl's game. completing soon. he says i got too much money. of course la. i dont buy potions and weapons. lol. i'm the second fastest after bryan know. of course this is my first time playing. dont expect too much.

2008-12-05T14:50:00.002+08:00

alright, came back from my birthday chalet not too long ago.
Day 1 of chalet, checked in arnd 2 plus with my dad sending me there, with guan,dog,grace in the car. the place is fantastic. say serious. damn nice. then we played mahjong, before playing pool and ordering pizza. so the whole night was more or less mahjong. then kenneth came by and stayed over with me and dog, while grace went home with a lift from my dad.

Day2. expecting matthew,zijun,bird,janice,julia to come. but some of them are working then it'll be rather weird for them to come, so they decided not to. so suddenly 5 ppl nvr come. then beatrice lost her way and went to aloha loyang. so she didnt come too. the rest who came : selena, chou,jeremy,jelena,daryl,the old, nicole, bernard,nana,melvin,daryl (src), reko, mattias, brian,charlotte,dog,ignitius,eunice,teresa,rena. i hope i didnt left out anyone. then we had a bbq, but was quite fun la. starting fire in the rain initially. oh. nana praised the uglys! for being so considerate. eg. serve food to others, help to clean up etc. nana bought sakae sushi! its so cool to have adults sia.

anyways. selena,chou,jeremy,jelena,dog and me stayed over. then we played until 4am? then others went to sleep while me and chou went to watch TV downstairs. after that, we went to sleep at arnd 5 plus i think. surprisingly, chou can wake up SO EARLY. then they disturbed me to wake up. had macs breakfast with them and then came back to chalet for my family gathering. nothing much la, but my aunty strike 4D! gave everyone 200 dollars angpow! cool. then dont know why, they gave me angpow for going army too. thats quite cool.then left for home.

PROM NIGHT-4th dec. it was quite ok la.food wasnt fantastic, but i dressed up like a girl cos of a stupid game! ok, i'm an ugly woman. dressed with napkins, toiletpaper, lipsticks, shawls,heels and kisses from dog and zhiming, and belts with no place to put, and of course, tie and a man's shirt. took pictures with pretty people and handsome ppl. and left swiss hotel for fashionbar, where we played games. then some left early. we then went to zirka, a new mega club to see see and dance. i cant believe i can gei siow to dance! OMG.then after that, 7 people took luke's car to changi village for late supper or early breakfast at arnd 5am. then luke sent people home one by one. so conicidentally brother lives nxt block to him.so i got a free lift to brother's house.

after that i went to swimming pool to sleep! cos its weird to go home and sleep for 1 hour then after that go all the way to expo right. so i took a 2-3 hour nap. although guan, chou, and my uncle all live nearby, but i cant just, can i borrow your bed for awhile right. guan offered me to stay la, but i thought it'll be ma fan. so just slept at the tamp swimming pool. then after that, went expo to get race pack. abit worried for this sun, cos i nvr train at all sia. but i'll try my best la. guess this year's timing will be lousier than last year. i cant bear to take a cab sia. although i'm super tired. but i thought it was not worth man. i guess i need to get my money worth the value it is. anyways. i'm going off to sleep now. bye!

2008-11-29T00:00:00.002+08:00

ok i'm abit irritated. maybe i'm borned on a wrong date lor, everyone's busy or cant come. i'm not blaming people, probably, disappointed. call daryl he steady, even though nxt day got test and packed with hw. sms bird, instantly he steady without second thoughts. how i wish people was like that. not close people maybe i dont say la. but some people like fucking dont give face only.

2008-11-28T20:49:00.002+08:00

alright! just came back from town and bugis. went to bugis street in the morning. oh. i slept from 12 plus to 11plus this morning. i think i slept abit too much. anyways. bugis street bought my bermudas. guan bought her nails thing and got cheated. paid 30 bucks for smth she could have gotten for a dollar. LOL. mine was a good bargain. after that went far east, bought my prom shoes.quite cheapo but looks quite good on me. after that went to wisma where guan bought her shoes. she then left with kenneth,left me dog and grace. went to robinsons for dog's v neck shirt. finally found it, but Calvin Klein underwear having promotion. 2 for 59. so me and dog decided to get the same design. LOL. wear on my chalet.

ok, left out some details yesterday. will fill it in now. escape was quite fun. first thing we did is go haunted house. quite funny. dog night blind, so held my hand all the way. guan screamed when i scare her sia. in the end cry when she came out. then after that, one uncle praised me know. say i entertaining. my random and sudden screams more scary than the displays! haha. had go kart, then played racing with dog. at first he was in front of me sia. then i cut him and over took him way long long. then after that. some malay woman pop up on my right. then i shy to cut. if dog i cut only, make him bang on the side. then after that, dog suddenly just cut me right behind the malay woman and win me at the last turn of the last lap! that is so tyco. after that, went viking ship twice. "quite scary" panic panic. boring like shit. then went to take wet and wild twice. had a break inbetween cos it was raining. picked up a mouse toy and created jokes out of it. for video, pls refer to "AUDREY TAN"'s blog.

brian's concert was great! PHS was actually quite lousy, HIHS ok, St Gabs the blending was good. HIHS got this, BOMB. sec 3 only. everything PERFECT. na ma. anyways, repertoire were nicely chosen, but not audience engaging enough. had dinner at subway with goat, which so coincidentally appeared behind my seat. then went to chalet's bbq.

2008-11-27T20:45:00.002+08:00

ok, i'm back from class chalet! just woke up from my sleep. slept from 12pm to 8pm! my sleeping cycle like abit screwed up sia. this is gonna be a bloody long post.

First day of chalet! guan,dog, brother and grace + danny kong was there to buy stuff from NTUC. due to shortage of manpower and time to marinate, we decieded to call off the bbq, and called pizza instead. so we made our way down to the chalet, settled everything down, including booking the mahjong table and dvd sets. that was arnd like 2 plus alrdy. but NO ONE was there. probably some may not wanna help to set up la. but anyways, people started flocking in at 6 plus to 7 plus. by that time we alrdy ordered pizza. of course we'll have to order pizza first, cos it takes 1 hour to arrive! pizza no doubt is like, the most common food that MOST ppl will like. apparently, some of the class went out to eat zi char instead. had some leftover pizzas. played mahjong whole night, played cards when guan they all watched DVD.played some WARCRAFT3 cards by ikea. didnt sleep cos there isnt a bed for me! everyone slept without sharing bed, so i waited til arnd 6 when some woke up lor. then slept. stupid lizards damn irritating, make so much noise when i was sleeping.

then when i woke up, stupid dog come and wake me up, disturb me. pull my blanket away in the air con room.so i ran away to another room and locked the door. expecting balcony door is locked, actually it wasnt! i fell asleep then suddenly dog came in from the balcony. stupid dog climbed from the other side when he was locked by yen kenn. na bei. irritate me again sia. LOL. then i ran back to the original room and locked both balcony and room door.ar...had a good sleep for 30mins only. then guan and brother, almost ramed down the down, knock so hard non stop.

2nd day! i HIJACKED a lorry and got out of park, cos we missed the fully packed bus. then went down to escape, when some didnt want to go in cos we thought the price was 17.70 per person, nebo card holders 7.50. but after averaging out the cost, it was probably not worth while for some people. so we decided to split. which i thought was a great idea. so big group go escape confirm ma fan, plus big group confirm split one sia. decided to had dinner together. who knows? miscommunication over the phone sounds that the escape ppl didnt wanna have dinner and were still having fun. THIS could have caused the tension, defintely with some catalyst. went back to chalet, everything was weird. actually, fucking shit. it was started by ONE person. na bei. wtf, if u're unhappy, dont influence others with your shameful idea,wake up pls. class chalet is for fun. anyways, if u're not happy, say out only. then we talk and settle. but u decided to work UNDERGROUND. ok fine.

end of 2nd night, had an emergency meeting, when liwei the man, came back! found out the root of the problem. the bbq was not started. think about it people, u think wanna start bbq so easy one meh. no need time to prepare? selfish people didnt see that 3girls+dog put in alot of effort. i must say i'm quite slack. i just go there only, planning, collecting money, everything wasnt done by me. that was pretty unappreciative. besides, why so petty when there's alrdy pizza. anyways. i believe people were all FINE with splitting up for escape, why u so gei kiang wanna talk so much, cocky bastard? trying to flare up the small fire?

3rd day liwei came and settled the prob by having another BBQ.which response was quite good, but apparently 2 ppl wasnt here. these 2 ppl was actually the two main characters sia. guan and yakai. sry, i dont give a damn, i'm just gonna say it out. not say, u wanted to play night cycling and it was a flop. i believe it's absolutely fine for guys to go out lor. there's NOTHING WRONG. why so petty over small things? went for brian's concert and played badminton with teresa and melvin. so didnt stay at the chalet. rushed back for bbq. then had fun with the rest.

third night, the remaining people were there. richard,police,grace,guan,tongni,dog,zhiming played. some went home some went to sleep. that was the funniest part sia. like played silent heart attack, murderer etc. dog keep losing sia. so forfeit was to put tissue paper with mucus in his UNDERWEAR, smelling his own feet in front of EVERYONE, guan had to wear her jacket inside out and show everyone her retardedness. lol. i was given a forfeit because i followed 2 groups of people, which shows that my reaction is the fastest actually! but i was given a kick on my ass by everyone in the group, for fastest reaction.

before that, me and dog had a fight! dog was not drunk la, probably tipsy. after half a cup of martini. which was quite little. anyways. i was being playful and scared him with socks on my hand. lol. placed it near his face. then he panic and tried to pull my socks away. then rolled on the ground. my mood was quite good, throughout the chalet, including at that instance. so i told him to stop. like i dont wanna fight with my friend. then he still blur blur. anyways. after that. when bird was smoking outside, i talked to him la. had some beer then dog came. we shook hands, actually he didnt know why he was so agitated too. LOL. then we OK liao. kinda funny but i guess its ok. not say we first time fight right. in sch alrdy got almost fight liao. haha, had food fight with bird also. LOL. then after that, me and dog went to play with hot charcoal and fire extinguisher. LOL. quite fun. tried to extinguish the hot charcoal with fire extinguisher, but it was useless. HAHA. wanted to burn lizards with hot charcoal also sia. almost killed one. but they're too fast man.

this morning packed up and came home. everyday slept at arnd 6 plus 7 plus. i thought class chalet is like for fun one sia. why bring your grumpy mood into the chalet, dampen everyone's mood? or try to spark up some explosion which u failed badly. because i believe EVERYONE ELSE's neutral.

Finally, in conclusion, i believe both sides are at fault. probably out of EVERYONE, i think i'm one of those who knew the most on both sides,cause i have friends on both side, i'm kinda the intersection point. both sides are at fault. be it ego, personality, pride. ONE side has to be more understanding and rang the other party. guan is indeed bossy at times,wants to do things HER WAY,BUT she meant the class good. without her, i actually dont think yakai or whoever that talks big will host the class chalet. some may say that i'm close with her thats why i side her. i didnt. this is a fact, after cross referencing with people from both parties.

If u want to sacrifice, then u shldnt feel bad if your sacrifice is not appreciated, cos the point is, u wanna scarifice. just another random comment. most rich people actually dont know the value of money sia. say serious. i'm not poor but i understand the true value of money.

thats all folks, i believe this class chalet was still rather successful.

2008-11-24T11:52:00.002+08:00

one stimulates feelings from the heart, the other from the mind. so is the mind stronger than the heart or what? i'm quite confused and lost at this stage.
i believe i haven found both the ONE and THE one, even if i've found THE one, probably, there isnt anything much i can do.

ANYWAYS, class chalet later at pasir ris park, the one selena had hers last year. gonna stay over for a night. coming back on tues night, cos i'm going out on fri! ok, have to go pack my stuff now.

2008-11-23T00:03:00.002+08:00

today went back to maris, cos my cousin wanna go in, but abit off from PSLE score. hoping the open house today will help him a little. i feel like working as relief back in maris, confirm fun. disturb all the teachers again! LOL.

after that went for kenneth's birthday party, supposingly surprise, but he suspected it quite a while ago. clashed with prac, which i WANT to go. fatty guan threatened me with my chalet la! then dog and brother side her only. then bo bian i stayed. it was quite fun la. drank a tiny little bit only. quite nice actually. journey from guan's house to home is SUPER long. a pity i cant make it to prac.

sometimes, those who really look mature, or act mature arent that mature actually. those who are nice, arent too. best of all, those who look like they are, actually, they arent.

2008-11-21T00:17:00.002+08:00

this morning woke at near 12 i think. then went to meet lxh at hougang mrt be4 heading down to douby. met up with peho, mo, dj, quah for lan. we were supposed to meet at 1, but apparently i only left home at 1. LOL. dj's a joke, he say he'll be late, but yet he's the earilest, still got time to buy mr bean's soyabean drink. haha. dota and CS was fun, but i'm still not very agile. should be due to the extreme lack of practice. haha. after that went for dinner at BK with mo, kid,dj. caught quantum of solace. quite confusing. even dj watched the casino royale also cant understand. lol. molar thought it had something to do with nuclear cos of quantum. lol.

stucked in the midst of 2 island. i'm supposed to go to both at the same time, but apparently, i cant! tough decision, but i'm sure i can come up with something.

2008-11-19T02:23:00.004+08:00

ok, i just changed my blogskin, which many complained abt the small text and difficulty in reading. yep. updated my links. i clicked on everyone to see if the blog's still there k. quite tiring. but i'm done now! realised so many people changed their blog add, closed down their blogs. deleted arnd 20 odd links, added 5 i think. yep.
ok, good night people!

2008-11-19T00:45:00.003+08:00

yes! its finally over! the long awaited moment. but yet, it marks the last day of my journey in MJC.
2 years just passed, in a blink of an eye. friends u knew when u first came in, might not be the same anymore. people have changed and time told me everything abt them. because time tells! i've learnt abt managing human relationships better and much more abt human nature!

alright, so many things to do now.
other than packing up and room, preparing for prom outfit, outings with friends, class chalets, slim down+ toughen up schedules, learning the guitar, practising for midnight mass accompaniments, catch avatar (from daryl), catch up with old friends (sec sch friends, melvin, primary sch teacher, etc), preparing for army!

ok, i've forgotten some things that i might have planned to do, but anyways, i'm so not gonna buy the gucci wallet, gucci belt and crumpler bag for now. i think after army ba. i'm still thinking of what to do on my birthday!

today after the paper, i ripped off my chest pocket! then after that shouted out like crazy. went home for lunch then met up with guan,brother,grace,dog for kbox. from 2-6. i'm now a kbox member! then went to east coast for dinner/supper. mr kua was late. reached at 930. but he gave us all a treat. wow, must have cost him a bomb, but i just ate normally. just reached home. deciding if i shld go out with dog to far east tml or bryan's house.

watched 9 plus show with guan.madagasca 2. quite funny, but didnt know why guan decided to shed some tears. hmm.

ok, its over! now i can think of U.

2008-11-17T01:06:00.002+08:00

today, went for mass and then went out with UGLYS! SB + daryl and nicole. went to pasir ris park, but apparently the spiderweb's gone! then we went to e hub to play some arcade games. walking back there is far. seriously far for the girls. we took quite a long time to walk there. wanted to settle down for a game of pool, board game, bowling or a movie. but none worked out cos we're too big a group with different age groups and ideas dont work out. TOO BIG A GROUP. got alot of time lags in between though. but its tiring!

yesterday went for prac, so now i know who's the legendary marilyn's moses.before that went to meet dog to go orchard. went to see ralph lauren,gucci, LV, crumpler,etc. didnt find anything appealing. still thinking of what to wear on prom. i'm quite afraid to over-dress. quite ma lu.

i'm not really good with words, or shld i say language. 2 years of JC is ending in 1 day. i dont really MISS the sch. but probably more of my friends. after this 2 years of my life, i've seen many faces, and the faces behind all these faces. familarity breeds contempt. i think i've been rather tolerant.

anyways, i think guan is right. i'm thinking abit too much. but there's a tiny part of me asking me to give up because prospects aren't that good. but still, i wouldnt give up just yet. i need to be very sure. although competition might be tough and market might not even be opened for competitiors, i decided to take a wider view further away first.
last paper on tues! after that i'm free!

2008-11-11T18:50:00.002+08:00

thinking about this a few nights before. if i had worked hard a little eariler. and do my tutorials faithfully, probably i'll be confident now and say i can claim 3As from cambridge. then i realised, some people maybe slack, but they arent as slack as me, diqiang or bird. somemore my o lvl basics not say damn good. oh well, life's full of regrets, but now i just needa get into the course i want. cos i dont actually know what else i want other than that. then dog and yen kenn just told me they share the same ambition as me.

Not studying hard then get lousy results is probably what i deserve. but dog today said something that i agree totally. doesnt mean 4A means confirm will be successful in life. he still confidently say he'll be more successful than them. actually other subj i not so worried. only maths i SUPER DUPA worried. today econs seemed OK, can get B i think? but chem made stupid careless mistakes, if not i confident of saying A liao. na ma. 3 more papers. then its fun!

2008-11-09T14:42:00.002+08:00

i kinda feel weird inside, but i dont know how to express it. how i wish i can transfer some from her to her. yesterday i met 2 great backstabbers. ok, if u think backstabber's an extreme word, then, i guess thats how it feels. but i'm not greatly affected though.

yesterday night, dom came to talk to me online! he come and talk to me abt A lvls sia. i'm shocked. haha. then this morning, jeremy keep asking me go home sleep and study. abit unexpected huh. anyways. 5 more papers this week. then last paper nxt tues. then i'll be free!

2008-11-07T12:32:00.003+08:00

WTF, lost 20 over marks for paper 2. made some careless mistakes. guan just told me its T test. wah lau, nvr see properly. sian. then 2 qns use GC can find ans, i dont know go do manually cannot get ans sia. whole probability qns wrong. i think 50% a 50%b liao. if i get A also on the dot. SHIT MAN.my confident subj become like that. AR!!!!
going for daryl's party later. need to relax abit. sian. screwed paper 2. oh well. nothing else i can do.

2008-11-05T09:54:00.003+08:00

alright. i just finished GP, maths p1 and phy p3. GP essay was generally ok, because conrad went through be4. sort of spotted it. p2 was more challenging, but i thought it was only tough in front. the AQ almost finished, but the examiner collect paper so fast, cannot write sia. phy p3 the nxt day was ok la, made a few mistakes, but got one is. calculation error due to GC! nvr put bracket. think got ecf, if not nvm lor. bo bian. maths 1 was ok la.can do all the questions. but alot of careless mistakes. like add also can add wrong. finished just in time, cos i checked on the way. last few questions nvr check liao. still got p2 though.
tml's chem! i'm going off to study now. chem's my A subj. must study hard sia. panic panic.

Thanks to all who wished me good luck before my exams!

2008-11-02T21:39:00.002+08:00

i thought abt it during my nap this afternoon. maybe, there was nothing at all. i've been thinking too much. like probably, people's just very friendly. oh well. i'll still try my best though, but if it doesnt work out, then too bad ba. anyways, life's full of regrets. but i think, this will be a pity. i dont know when to do it too. full of trouble. less emphasis placed now. but i dont want it to be a pity! ARGH! TROUBLED. i need prayers here.

tml's GP paper 1 and 2. worried for not reaching my goal.

2008-10-31T20:11:00.002+08:00

omg, i'm going crazy. not because of studies but, !!! .actually when i looked back now, i felt so stupid and wasted. all the money, time and efforts. but i guess it was an expensive lesson. so now i know. this time, i'm quite sure. but yet, unsure.

2008-10-30T19:23:00.002+08:00

just woke up from my 3 hour nap. i've been sleeping too much! i'm gonna do more phy today, cos my consultation's at 3pm tml. quite worried for phy. the last A i'm gonna get. quite bored at home. but i'm gonna study hard tonight. probably cos i'm a night worker.

i had so much going on in my mind. not only phy definitions and formulas. i had some free time, so i tried to compose some song. was thinking of having an STAC theme song, but the ideas i came up with wasnt "march-y" enough. more feeling was involved i guess. i think i've alrdy mastered the basics of figuring out the chords of the songs i hear. which means, i hear the song for a couple of times, i can most probably write out the chords. of course, the chords may not be the exact ones, but the whole idea should be there. maybe i have a talent for such things, maybe not.

guan said on her blog that i'm full of shit but can come out with good advices at times. i cant give myself advices. but i know, i'm feeling nervous, and stuff because i'm taking it seriously. if i just anyhow, of course, i wouldnt feel like that at all. in fact, i think i'm taking it VERY seriously. oh well, but the more hopes i pin on it, probably the greater the disappointment. i know maybe theres nothing now, but i wish to create something out of nothing. i need that chance sia. but not everyday's a sunday, not say everything will go well for me right. but i guess, i'll take a deeper thought of that after A lvls, coming in 3 days. hmm. ok see ya.

2008-10-29T10:28:00.002+08:00

i realised i updated quite often these few days, but anyways. yesterday slept at 10pm. super tired. so i just woke up from my 12 hours sleep, but i had 2 dreams! its CRAZY.

First dream, i dreamt that, a girl asked me if i like her, then i said, YES, and i'm gonna jio you. then she said, you're not my type of guy. lol. aunty was sitting beside me at that time. she didnt say anything though.the dream's so real that i cant tell reality from dream. then i felt sad for a moment. i realised it was fake until i woke up.

Second dream, abit longer, i dreamt of Ah Lek! my maris band conductor, and abit of an idol. then when i went back, i told him i had no reed. which is true, because i haven been playing for more than a year. then i told fredy who then told Ah Lek. Fredy said that they can get for me through maris teachers but i have to ask FATHER TAY myself. then i said ok, which is the usual style of me.

After that we went to tell ah lek abt this, thinking that maybe he can get some reeds. then he told us we still have to go through FATHER TAY. (ermm...?) then ah lek asked why i didnt have a reed, so i explained to him that i only kept the last one that i played for concert last year. then he thought i wanna quit from this band world alrdy. then he started telling stories, cant rmbr what. and my band juniors started lying on his TUMMY! which shortly after that, he cried and tell me, since u wanna quit then no need to come back. then be4 i left i said, i came back because of him, which is entirely true in reality.

Dreams can be the direct opposite of reality, but yet, it is also what the subconscious mind is thinking in the day. both explainations does not have negative impacts on me, but probably, when i jio that girl, everything will go on smoothly? or maris band will welcome me back with open arms?

"re you suo si, ye you suo meng"

2008-10-28T20:26:00.002+08:00

yesterday wasnt very productive, but i think at least i did something. today, studied with bryan. quite slack, but gonna do some stuff tonight. alot of my 07 prelim papers cannot finish man. then bought 08 one alrdy, cos there's a trend of qualitative ans, instead of the caculative answers. i'm gonna take up driving once its past my birthday!

i think some people, although looks very pure, isnt that innocent actually. u never know what's inside them. only time can tell. not say u're the bomb, or so. but yet, u do things that are that unexpected. alright.

Although i alrdy have THAT plan, which guan and brother knows. i'm still damn scared. i'm not confident of myself yet. maybe its not time.

2008-10-26T23:41:00.002+08:00

decided to update a little. few days ago,when i was bored, went ard to a few blogs and read. i'm sry if i didnt read your blog.there are blogs i want to read badly, but i decide to read one shot after A lvls, so that i wouldnt be distracted:) not that i dont want, but i cant!

today went for mass, attendence was quite bad. volume still CMI. standard dropping and dropping. nxt week i'm playing. my favourite kinda songs, so not so bad. improvised some chords and playing rhythm. hope it sounds good. after mass today went to study with bryan for a while before going for lunch. came home and slept for 4 hours. then now gonna sleep again. feels so tired, did nothing much today. tml shall load all the content in, so shant tire myself too much be4 the As.

i hope i'm not thinking too much, hoping that its true.

2008-10-25T22:03:00.004+08:00

omg, i just got my army letter this afternoon. going in on april 11th. same day as eugene aka tongni. hope same camp. confirm fun.

logic being. u go in early, come out early. for jan ppl, u'll have 6 months when u come out, free. for april ppl, 3 months be4 u go in, and 3 months after u come out. so that means. but why april. it should be jan! now find job's more difficult. cos ppl are more likely to hire 6 months. and working for 6 months is a subset of working for 3 months. it just means, i can take more jobs if i go in in jan.

besides a big drop in job ranges, pay also drops. status is different. one is be4 going to army. so u're paid like a normal student with holiday. but after u come out, the pay is ORD status. in other words, its higher. so its a lost of MY economic resources.

looking at the bright side, i cant do anything, so i'm taking it, with regrets. haha. although i have more time to play, but there is still a limit. u play alrdy also will sian. but, i'm gonna make use of this time, to train up, probably learn a new instrument and of course hang out and have fun.

2008-10-24T23:53:00.002+08:00

thurs had phy consultation. found that i was lagging alot behind. alright. then went home to sleep be4 doing some chem. went for chem consultation today, wasnt that efficient. most qns are careless. learnt a couple of things. after that went to study with tongni, guan sai and brother. wasnt that productive also. only did 2 maths paper. as in paper 1 and paper 2. after that went to watch high school musical. which was boring. too much songs and predictable storyline. plus ah bengs in the cinema, shouting and screaming when lead kiss, with no sense of movie etiquette they think their house. confined to the small seat in darkness for 1.5hours. just reached home mins ago. super tired. gonna sleep soon.

some say that love is something that divides your burden into 2 and multiply your happiness by 2. i wonder if its true.

i wish i could share your burden and let u have a pie from my happiness. a pity. a pity. a pity. why is all this happening?

i dont think i can be considered as a faithful servant of GOD. probably i dont deserve so. i'm not those holy type of people like tan, prays every meal, every night (i used to when i was younger), every time she needs help, or thank HIM every now and then. but, for that matter, i prayed. i dont know if it works like, it makes my prayer more "valuable" or, makes it look insignificant. i hope HE will answer my prayer this time, cos i'm quite sure this time.

A lvls is coming in 8days, and i thought its still 2 weeks later. so much to do with so little time left. the only reason i'm worried for the results is not abt getting into uni or not. its almost confirm can get in, just that. i need that few As to make some people/one change an impression in me. this might just be a small reason to some, but it means a lot to me. i hate the feeling of despise on me, when i'm not dumb. i acknowledge that there are smarter people than me and i'm not the smartest. in fact i think i'm quite smart. at least above average. but 4 letters-LAZY killed every talent given. hardwork really can outdo intelligence. oh well...

2008-10-22T19:57:00.003+08:00

past few days have been out studying with guan at the hotdog place at ehub. tables are quite big. may not be as efficent as study at home, but then. can clarify doubts with guan instantly. so quite ok la. but journey time is alittle too much. tml have to rush chem after phy consultation. so not gonna study with them. still got 1000000 papers to do. including this year's prelim papers. shameful la. buy the prelim papers nvr use. 80 bucks, so wasted. hope i can reach my target of 3a1b. damn worried. i dont care if i wanna get 4a.

OMG. SHE'S the bomb. gorgeous.

2008-10-19T02:10:00.002+08:00

oh damn. the internet being revived is a disaster to me. i've been online the whole day not doing anything when its only 2 weeks away. panic alrdy. worried. if i started be4 mid years, i think i can assure 3A 1B. but now, not that confident. anyways. haven been going out and going to sch for the past week or so. growing fatter and fatter. stopped ALL forms of workout, including jogging, thats why.

Guan's been troubled lately too, although mine's only a small problem, but i think its a big matter! lol. i guess ONLY TIME.

2008-10-14T21:09:00.003+08:00

alright, since my internet connection's up, i shall blog a little.
today went to tamp mall to eat MOS with guan, brother and tongni. yesterday i cant rmbr what i did. nowadays nvr go out liao. only last week class outing go watch connected only.
i found the best plan for the mobile phone. i think maybe its not the best for the mobile phone itself, but its the best for price plans across the operators. mock tests this week. i think i'm still not really prepared sia. looking at Hwa Chong paper. doubt i can do that well. sian. haven recieve army's letter leh. anyways. i think its time i leak out the secret a little, reveal abit more. cos i'm quite sure this time. but sure is one thing, confident is another.
JIA LAT JIA LAT JIA LAT. diminishing confidence level.

2008-10-13T11:12:00.002+08:00

haven been blogging for a while. internet's stil down but MIO plan's coming soon on tues. put off the idea of buying the wallet for a while, at least after ARMY, cos quite troublesome to change wallet everyweekend. not gonna change phones every weekend too. so selling away the k810i and new phone that i'm gonna get from signing the plan. get some extra cash there. downgrade to the black and white phone. memories on the k810i but still its going to be sold. cant get my engine started for the massive light speed chionging as of O lvls. somehow, something inside my mind is stopping it. sundays are days to look forward though. growing fatter and after A lvls, its time my tummy goes away. ok, thats all for now, updating in the library.

2008-10-03T16:28:00.002+08:00

ok, sch's been boring and i haven gone into full scale mugging yet! i'm gonna start soon! last few days i was pretty glad, slightly overjoyed. by a few words. but probably, i'm thinking too much. and probably, its all unreal. anyways. maybe its time to just work hard first. ma da told me that i can get at least 3 A 1 B.but i think that will only happen if i'm lucky. potential is potential until u decide to realise it. currently having the intention to buy a gucci or LV wallet. still deciding.
maybe guan's right. NOT READY.

P're Uetty.

2008-09-30T10:13:00.002+08:00

thurs, i took early leave, half sick, half gei-siow. read my testimonial. thanks to selena's help in editing! went home and slept. when i woke up, i realised i was seriously sick. then slept thru fri, half day of sat. got back maths results. although pats said that i improved, but i expected more.

sat went to eat newyork-newyork with ms tan and charlotte. quite KRIT KIRT. both parties ACT SHY KNOW! after that went to watch F1 with tan. quite an eye-opening, but i think nothing spectacular. 1.5k seats only allowed u to sit in the 6th row from the front. crowded way back to MRT. although its only a short walk, but took me and tan an hour to get back. OH. melissa was there too! then tan's shoes was lousy, so she decided to get a flat one :) if not she'll be taller than me.

sun, went to selena's wedding after mass. i think i was a saint that day. despite my illness, selena forced me to go. k la k la. give her face. so i went! quite a special one though. then after that i went home and sleep again. wasted so many days of my life.
yesterday wanted to go sch for chem. but was late and bus didnt came! so i decided not to go since i was still quite sick too. then i went home and rest. did a little of phy revision only. not up to my expectation.
today came to sch, for GP and econs. hope it'll be useful.

HARI RAYA PAUSA tml!

actually sun, i was thinking if i was abit cruel, but then. yesterday while bathing. i thought of the things she did to me! omg. i realised now. ok gotta go for lessons and help tan buy her food.

2008-09-24T17:10:00.002+08:00

sat, slacked practically the whole day. sun. went to church in the morning, everything was normal. then at night i think i only did 1 mcq paper.

mon. got back GP paper 1. failed sia. wth. although conrad says its an achievement to even pass. but still i thought i can get at least a D. oh well. then guan sai cried cos she didnt meet her own expectations. so conrad helped to boost her by 3 marks. then got back phy too! omg. i thought i can get B with my paper1 and 2 results. screwed by paper3.

Yesterday didnt get back any paper and sch was boring.
Today. got back GP paper2. ok la. plus minus. got a D. prelims only. after that went for phy lecture. I WON A PRIZE. haha. for the best improvement award. from a U to C. actually a little disappointed cos i didnt get B. ok then. although the prize's some stupid magnet, but its the first time i got a prize can, benedict got TOP in lvl. also got back chem, bloody disappointing, only got S. which is like the average score for the cohort. i was expecting a E or so knowing that i screwed it up.

Maths was disappointing. although results are not out, but mr Pats say like, quite jia lat. econs also. hope i can pass at least. actually see-ing my phy results. i'm more confident of getting an A. so if i'm really lucky, i'll get 3A1B.

i believe there are 4 walls that i build around myself. others may have diff no, and thickness of walls. the valence shell is easily broken. that means, the hi-bye friends. i make friends easily. so secrets shared at that lvl can be also known as secrets that can tell ppl one, but maybe not EVERYONE la. the nxt inner shell needs a little more time and trust to break. probably only a handful get through it. the 3rd one. however, has only been slightly damaged and had 3 or less ppl entering. and the amount they penetrated is only the first part of shell 3. the most inner one. is the one all about myself, which. I, have not found anyone that can enter. not saying that my close friends are not close, or that i'm a hypocrite. because i believe this is just an analogy of how i trust ppl.

A lvls in 30 odd days? no distractions please.

2008-09-19T18:22:00.003+08:00

omg, my house modem's adapter's spoilt til now! that means no internet. at all. yea. i'm tapping on my neighbour's one now. haha. oh well. good for me too. can be more focused on studying. which will start tml. i cannot slack anymore. i need my grades. anyways, let me update a little on my life.

monday, slacked until afternoon then studied. tues maths paper, did a terrible mistake. spent 30mins for a 3 mark qns and yet cannot get the ans and forsake 17 marks of EASY marks. WTF. felt damn disappointed. not that i cant do sia. but i got over it soon, i'm not those kind that will emo over results for so long. but i might grumps abt it once in a while.
wed after paper, went to eat macs with guansai and warrior. after that play and play somemore. studying mood changed to playing mood. anyways. wasnt really that hardworking those few days.

yesterday, exam was ok, then went to cineleisure to watch mama mia with tongni,3 girls,dog. after that i went dental and met up with them again at taka. so went arnd shops. i dont regard this as a kind of shopping, maybe its similar to dog. like dont want so many ppl to wait for u to change and stuff. but me and dog went to zara and tried the promo outfits. for fun. haha. i think i look quite good, as in dont look fat and my chest looks pretty wide. but meanwhile, i realised tanguansai changed her name in my phone from tanguansai to audrey pretty tan. erm. BHB. after that we went to eat fish and co while me and tongni shared the seafood platter. after that went home. i think i'm gonna get a gucci or LV wallet after As :) after that i'm gonna learn my guitar and practice more on piano, pack my house.

oh be4 i forget. met stanley at cineleisure yesterday. he was telling me lin sheng(my fav conductor) was asking where i am. then fredy fish told him i'm having A lvls. thats why nvr go. feel bad ar. then he also say 1 bassoon not enough. need me:) my sightreading is pro. haiz. cant help it. mama mia and fish and co was good though. gucci wallets seemed plain. maybe shld go see LV. still got ralph lauren to get into my cupboard.

my thoughts for these few days revolved abt friends. shldnt friends do their best when u need their help? give and take. probably not so jing jing ji jiao abt a few cents huh. maybe familiarity breeds contempt too. i accept friends for who they are. i like u or not, i still remain u as a friend. if character work out, then upgrade to better friends. this is normal what. anyways. u cant expect only U can do, others cannot do. others do is jia lat. u do is ok. i think this is what i call self-centred. unless i like the girl alot, if not i wouldnt allow her to do it. oh well.

i think i've got tickets to F1 racing thats worth 1.5k. tanguansai confirm her place alrdy.

2008-09-14T14:37:00.002+08:00

NICE. if what tan guan says holds. then....hahahahahahaha.

today! church's feast day. fun fair!!! FUN+ JOY. although joy and fun comes from different sources! so we had mass at 7, when i slept at 3. now abit tired. then after mass we went to eat. whole lot of food.i think the waffle was nice, but selena and chou seems to like it so much. then i didnt wanna eat much. this is a RIVARY GOOD. we met zeng shi mei and her hubby. so went to take picture with them. i asked them since chou and selena wanted to take picture with them badly but dont dare ask. since i wasnt a TRUE BLUE FAN. and my skin's kinda thick. ok lor.nice picture!

after that went to games stall where we had lots of fun. throwing balls at each other. the basket was funny. sing song until no voice. force high notes. bryan force until veins almost break. then after that still got chomping of faces of almost everyone.HAHA. the prizes anyhow one la. i just gave prizes to the kids like free, which is true. and in the end, the prizes still cannot finish. and its alrdy quite old. like some old story books. HAHA.help the kids cheat by helping them throw balls into basket. and i became a target for bernard bass too. melvin came by, say is support me la. but TRUE REASON IS.......

ok lucky draw! brian bong won an ipod shuffle 1gb! so lucky! then the adults one was COOL. jeremy's father donated the diamond thing.5k? i heard. then wad. LCD 37" tv. 1000 travel vouchers. alot of electronic devices(ovens,etc,etc,etc). so lucky. manuel won the 37" tv. i should have anyhow buy ar. 2 dollars only. but kinda weird that they nvr just DONATE the money directly. haha. the muttons from 987 was here. wad a weird name. i'm "the pork". i only listen ot 90.5 so not my channel, too bad. after that cleared up and i went home. wah, the lucky draw's really. HUAT. but it doesnt really matter, cos i've got joy.

wah, somehow the news of conductor going away spreaded to SRC. and they say smth like. its time to change also. quite long alrdy also. true. but what conductor says and do, MIGHT be different. who knows?

Pls let it be true. i'm going deeper and deeper.

2008-09-13T02:33:00.002+08:00

paper 2 of chem was a time management paper. maths was disappointing. i dont even know the formular for area of hexogan can. 2 most confident paper, become the worst of all. yesterday whole kampong sent brother home. after that came home and changed be4 going for novena mass.

if what tan guan says is true. i'll be devastated. cos the second way out usually doesnt work. shit.

2008-09-09T20:08:00.002+08:00

oh yay! i found some time to slack. cant stand it.

so on sat, i sorta study-ed the whole day of chem, but yet, wasnt really effective. studied til abt 4am. woke at 6 plus to go for mass. so worried that i cant woke up, but i guess there was a stimulant for me :) after mass was a short practice which i found was totally, simply useless. a group is as good as its weakest player. if the weakest player, which i think i've identified a few. cant sing. then no matter how much u practice, u can even get the bloody note. some ppl can sing alone, but nt in groups. i think an audition is seriously needed. not very likely for the whole choir to perform at this rate. ok, after that went to KPT without eating, wasnt really hungry. went home and slept. after that. i did something EXTRA-ORDINARY. i went through most of the HELP package! those that i have la. some missing here and there. my notes also 1/4 empty.abit hard to start for phy. but i did it.

Mon, paper 3 for phy was relatively easy, but made lots of careless mistake. i felt that i could do more if i have more practice.
Today, econs. made the gravest mistake of my life. ran a little short of time. hope i can get an E or so? not aiming quite high cos only studied for 1day. phy paper 2's a theory paper. everything tested seems so minor and insignificant in lecture notes. so i left out quite abit. i hope i can get a C or B for phy. chem tml, and maths soon after. i'm worried for maths. i wanna get at least a C. thats patrick's hope on me. chem, rather confident if the paper's not killer. i aim to get a C or B too. so probably my result slip that i aimed for this prelim is CCB + an S. haha. ok i've got to go.

2008-09-05T12:40:00.002+08:00

wed night went to meet up with 126 and turtle for dinner.went late and they eat alrdy! na ma. i thought big feast know. not even small party can. raining but rather cosy inside there. wow. so many happening things know. i jia lat la. everyone got gf know. went to macs and ate ice-cream in the cold weather. on the way home, thought of several events. memories of my life. the STAC camp 2005. secondary school times. after sch EVERYDAY go goat's house or go out. rmbr the times of band. probably cos i saw hong chow at chomp chomp. somehow. i huai nian those times.

came home to study until330 am! WAH. but i woke at 1230 the next day. so not really chiong.

Thurs, is what i call effective studying. finished whole of inorganic chem. slept at 430. whole day was studying and went jogging only. i believe memorising shld be done ALONE with the company of music and a cool enviroment (air-con). trying out qns maybe with friends.

Today, woke at 11. probably physically tired cos i went jogging. abit rush for time now. like so many things undone. dont think i can even finish revising the syllables for prelims. monday is so near. sry brian. dont think i can attend your birthday party. quite rush-ed for time. diqiang and i coincidentally blog-ed abt the same thing. abt friends leaving our lives. haha. ok. i've gotta go.

2008-09-03T16:40:00.002+08:00

yesterday was GP exam. qns i attempted: DYA its increasingly diff to tell right from wrong. little worried if i wrote out of point. after that, class lunch at food court. after that came home. father overseas, mum and brother not at home. so was rather home alone when my sis goes out. i thought can no need come home. but feels guilty if i nvr study. after that slept and went to AMK hub watch 12 lotus with guansai and her family. the show depicts a POOR girl. suffered from young til her death. guan sai's father says its a real true life story. reached home at 12 plus.

today woke at 12. then studied awhile and here i am. going out for dinner with turtle and 126 later at chomp chomp. hmm. need more pressure and motivation at studying.

i dont think i've found the ONE, but i found THE one. i rmbr mr paul leong says his THE ONE will risk his/her life to save him even if his/her life is at risk. anyways. THE one however, seems so near but yet so far. alright, g2g.

2008-09-01T19:35:00.002+08:00

OH OH OH. did i mention that i saw banglaS wearing branded shoes? like Adidas and stuff? sometimes i really wonder how they get this money to buy such shoes? and coincidentally , I've got some missing shoes, including my havaianas!

i found out 3 things that i hate. 1. REPEAT MYSELF 20 thousand times. probably i'm impatient and wants msg to be passed quickly. 2. i hate being dao-ed, cos i'm an attention seeker. 3. hate it when ppl wrongly accuse me. i just hate this feeling. i believe i've got more tolerance for ppl i like even if i know or dont know them well. and less tolerance for ppl closer. for guan sai says: familiarity breeds contempt. oh well.

sat. stayed at home and studied, but not productive due to the TV in my room. but managed to do something. yesterday, went for mass and came home, studied too. gave a miss to the painting of funfair game stall banner. today went to sch just to play bball and ate lunch. haha. ms ee saw us playing bball. JIA LAT.

prelims 1 week away.tml GP paper. i'm worried. A lvls like 2 months away. 1 week away and still no content loading.still go so many things on. after prelims, i'm gonna throw my com and tv into exile. for i'm gnna make it or break it.

Although there is none like you, no one else can touch my heart like you do. but i'm still quite reserved in that aspect.

2008-08-29T17:15:00.003+08:00

diqiang and his life, life and diqiang. diqiang-life.blogspot.com. birdy's phrase. diqiang's getting famous!

mon, went to sch and did almost nothing. totally not efficient. then went to play bball. not bad. i find myself improving at bball! went home and slept early. tues stayed at home and did 1 full chem prelim papers.wad a waste of time.

wed went to vivo went guan sai. cos apparently she needs to get miss lim's present.so we went to shop too. she bought a pyjamas.19.90 only. she say its cheap and DONT accept negative comments from me. saying"i dont care, i'm gonna buy". so guan sai bought it, since it was her own money. then i went to Adidas shop. trying to buy a polo tee. jia lat. my nipple sticks out. tried different colour and size. medium's ok if my nipples are down. then large's not that obvious then dark colours seem to hide it better but yet bright blue was nicer. took me 15mins to make a decision while guan sai went to release her storage of waste products aka make cake. in the end, decided not to buy and went Zara instead. bought a polo tee there at 69.90. although its 30 dollars more than Adidas. but i think its worth it.

thurs went to sch again, did almost nothing. went to play bball again. so 5v5. my team got 2 girls vs 5 guys. so those guys were kinda ungentlemanly and bully. go steal guan sai and warrior's ball. like wad the hell seriously. if u steal a ball away from a guy when he's holding it. maybe u can say the guy nvr hold tight. fair enough. but a female. hold tight and nvr hold tight. use bird brain think also know cannot out win guy one right. u steal confirm easy only. its almost like 100%. second thing. when guan sai or grace tries to shoot, they go block. wad the hell seriously. not say they 100% go in la. just let them shoot la. go super near them and try to block them.thats totally retarded. they shld just steal rebound right. or from passes. in fact, sometimes when we pass to girls. they cant catch, alrdy gave them advantage right -.- PLUS. we almost won.6-7.

today woke up at 10 when guan sai called. and we're supposed to meet at 10. lol. so i rushed down to sch. then i got pissed and grumps and agitated when guan sai and brother gave the biscuits to mr ng kar kit. omg. i respect him alot sia, for his humour and understanding for the students.other than respecting teachers that can teach or just joke, like MR PATS AND MR TEE. i just wanna see his expression sia. then they pang sei-ed me and gave be4 i arrive. which is like. 10mins away. i was pissed la. what the fuck seriously.the muffins on my hands i almost wanna throw into bin and go home liao can. ok, i held my anger. if it was the old me......ok forget it, its over. then went to e hub to eat chicken rice. some restaurant. after that went to guan sai's house play mahjong while she chooses her clothes. she also grumps with me. maybe the perspective is diff like what brother says. male and female stuff. after that. took bus home with her to hougang be4 she makes her way to douby.

i was damn happy a couple of days back, cos something happened!

2008-08-24T16:45:00.002+08:00

fri was sort of the official last day of sch! being with those guys for 2 years, definitely i'll miss them right.besides we still have chance to meet what. this is for sure, everyone will go on separate paths. ARMY, UNI, Overseas UNI. maybe it might be even difficult to come out for a meal in the future just like secondary friends. cos everyone will be busy with their own life and find new friends. thats the way of life. I want A lvls to end soon, but i'm afraid that its coming. just like my daughter and audrey. i feel worried abt it. frankly speaking.70 days to change 4 Us to 4As is almost impossible. being realistic, but i'm aiming near there.

fri went home early, skipped phy lecture. but came home and did nothing.wasted my time sia.

sat, woke up at 11 due to a nightmare. seriously. i watch ghost show also no nightmare. but the thought of THIS...... then ate breakfast at 12 slacked and chen guan sai called. came to hougang to see doctor. must be joke. after that went home took a nap be4 meeting dog. went to suntec to see shoes. got 30 dollars off when u trade in a pair of old shoe, regardless of condition. wanted to get one but doesnt seem logical to get a same pair of shoes but with diff colour scheme right. and i've already got nearly 10 pairs of shoes. why do i still need one more when i'm going army soon? so decided not to buy and met tongni guan sai and grace for dinner. wait until 9 sia. then sent guan sai home.

today! went to church, with combined practice. rather effective and quite a learning experience. theres this girl that's pretty sweet. probably my EYE-CANDY. but i still wouldnt forget the main course right. eye candy's just to SEE. right tongni? then came home slept. i'm so bored now. but i'm gonna study tonight.

Although there might be positive parts about u, but there are still grey areas and negative parts. sch life's already so tough nowadays.maybe i'm expecting too much? i'm greedy and think too much. i only want positive stuff. i see potential there. everything seems to fit perfectly. but it might just be held by one hand.

The only one that can seriously make me smile on the inside, is you.

2008-08-21T13:45:00.002+08:00

took early leave again. was thinking abt this on the way home. who in my class can actually take jokes. as in. seriously. diqiang, tongni, bird and me. i've nvr seen anyone listed angry for jokes. and coincidentally we are the ppl who took the most green forms. haha. yesterday went to eat sakae buffet with my class. quite fun. played shoot shag marry. 3 person. choose one to kill, to have sex with and to marry. haha. guan sai's ans was shoot hui neng, shag diam yore and marry my prince. HAHA. and grace said benedict was hot! omg. ok. g2g. see ya.

2008-08-17T17:03:00.003+08:00

random thought. what happens if u like the same girl as your good friend?

i thought for a moment. it would be dumb to forsake friendship for a girl. but it depends on. how much u like that girl. how much your friend like that girl. who does the girl likes? i thought for a moment. what if it happens to me. what will i do? fair competition that doesnt harm the friendship is rare. maybe i think too much, as what guan sai says. If what either one of them said is true. then this will not happen. of course i wouldnt want it to happen.

i dont know leh. but it seems like i've got a chance. but it also seems that i've got a very low chance. its like very extreme. either its damn positive, or damn negative. i thought it was positive, but maybe its just another way of being negative.if u get what i mean. everything has to wait after As. which also marks the start of my army days. i need a response. i need an answer. i need a reply! i hate to wait, not that i cant.i'm probably too impatient. Through the days, you'll unknowingly notice the person so much that u dont even realise. of course, flaws start coming in, but i accept it, who doesnt have flaws? i'm quite lost, at some point in time, i lost my push to study. only 3 months left for me to study, and i know so little content. i'm still sleeping 8 hours a day.

Save me O lord.

Today went for mass. everything was normal. just that, i'm still scandal-ed. i believe i can say theres nothing going on btw us. seriously. now that i know what i want, i've been made a fool. anyways. retreat was cancelled! nice.came home and slept, just woke up not long ago. gonna go jogging but feeling a little tired.

2008-08-16T11:03:00.003+08:00

coming up right at my face on tues was chem test. be4 tat i went sick bay. although i said i dont wanna go sick bay anymore. but this time, i go at the least important periods :) not like be4 wanna go just go only. i've improved. chem test was horrible. havent touched chem at all and prelims 3 weeks away. last week of sch nxt week! wed was normal. but i realised this whole week was just doing hw, nothing much of revising. thurs was horrible. took early leave. Ms EE signed early leave form on the condition of an MC. i felt guilty when she asked me for the MC sia. so she said she's not gonna sign any more green forms for my class.1week of sch left. how much is there to take? yesterday was rather interesting. yesterday went sch with nothing much to learn. then went to gym with bryan selena daryl. i dont see myself growing still! maybe it takes time.haha. after that went mass. chou tou managed to rush down for mass after selena's powerful persuasion! haha. after that coffeetalk for a while be4 going home. now i just woke up and i'm gonna study now. BYE!

2008-08-11T21:12:00.002+08:00

me and tongni gave xiao jie a new name! GUANSAI! (from money no enough2) becos her surname's CHEN. haha. i can call her tat for 3 weeks! YAY. sat went to gym wif bryan and selena in the morning. quite tiring. good workout. then after that went bryan's house for lunch, invited by his mum. then i had to leave home to change. for the airport! went to meet guan sai and tongni. tongni also changed from ALIEN TAY which is originally from eugene tay. anyways. after i came for a while. kena chased by macs so we went to a cafe. quite nice. a nice place to study. but apparently. guan sai had to leave for tuition. then me and tongni went to coffeebean using his laptop. going to friendsters and face book and everything la. see-ing him play 2 moons for a while and went to look at funny videos. so guan sai camed. after that we went to watch movie and go to the beach to chill. had to take a cab home since bus service was over at that time. the time we spent at the beach was good. i felt it was relaxing. anyways. caught LOVE GURU. jessica alba. my son's idol. quite funny if u understand the sick parts.

nxt day. ok not exactly next day but few hours later. smelly's sms woke me up. went for mass. and was quite tired. then went for practice. quite a waste of time. but i tried to make it productive. then after that. selena and bryan wanted to go watch monfort chorale but i was too tired so decided to give it a skip.

today. woke at 1130? had to meet classmates at 12. rushed down on 27. i think i reached at 1. diam yore was there! damn funny. haha. me, guan sai, brother, tongni, diam yore, ikea, dq, my prince was there for the seoul garden. liwei joined us later.haha damn full. challenged diam yore and had to eat one whole stove of MEAT. ok. then after that went to guansai's house to study. then went home. actually wanted to stay for dinner but was quite full la. now gonna study wif my neighbour at my house. tata.

2008-08-08T23:20:00.003+08:00

WHY MUST U LIKE SOMEONE ELSE! haha. just a comment. an inference. dont try to infer from here too. u might most probably be wrong. its not wad u guys are thinking of. anyways. someone got caught in a lie la. LOSER. LOSER. nobody likes that person too and tat person thinks itself is being well-liked. must be joke. i not saying i very well liked and popular but still i can make a comment like this right!

still quite happy abt napha. but a pity i cant get gold cos of sbj. wed went for chem lecture late onli. ah gua not happy. had REACH appreciation lunch. got CERT sia.pon-ed GC piece of shit. when brother cant escape.haha. me and chen walked out during econs lecture. i think i SUPER suay. chen xiao jie went out first. then i carry her bag and mine. then zun zun. a econs teacher came in. sit at my row. then another maths teacher came in. i found a suitable chance and ran away liao. then went out by front gate. YAY. then others suay lor stucked inside. tony told me smth rather irritating abt this person. why must tag ppl like a dog. piece of shit. even dog have his self esteem. then thurs played frisbee for PE. damn fun, zhao geng for red underwear. then dao-poked liwei. omg. i'm right below can. liwei. TONY, then me liao. TONY's BONE's DAMN SHARP. person on top of me confirm comfortable wif all my fats. haha. happy birthday liwei and my godpa! kinda feel bad not giving him any present. every birthday, my godpa nvr fails to give me an angpow or present when i was younger. at night went to cafe at bugis for dinner. nice environment, so-so food. god place for dating and chilling though.

Today, woke up late. went sch late. caught a funny show. abt chinese guy and a malay girl. the guy's name's JASON. how coincidental is that. then when theres a sick part. xiao jie turned over to me and ask me. the young and innocent one. how can like tat look at me. then went for lunch wif class at downtown east. irritating bitch again. actually i dont really care what ppl thinks i am or if ppl spread bad stuff abt me like what hyseng did. after tat sjb went out caught THE MUMMY. not really TAT fantastic, but ok lor. then went to eat at pastamania be4 walking arnd and going home. tml going gym together. so yea. gonna sleep soon. tired. bye!

2008-08-05T19:34:00.002+08:00

OMG OMG OMG. i passed my napha! yay. passing meaning silver hor. i jumped like 223cm can. must be HER. then i started to slack. pull up also nvr do max, sit up also nvr. sit and reach practically just stretch hand only. failed shuttle run for first time by 0.1 sec sia. too complacent.

2.4. 3 girls, matthew, zijun, bird, kenneth sorta supported me sia. they shouted like, "go ye ren!" or smth. thanks man. they were at the gallery. then ground floor, miss choy and mr chua like. "how many rounds only. pls la. stop walking." when i was running damn slowly. haha. maybe they pin high hopes on me. then ground floor still got mrs loh, i think mrs guo and 2 other evelyn classmates that i know too. shouted "go jason, JI HAN!" lol. make me run like dog only. of course, highlight of the day. she shouted " go jason!" haha. i think i sprinted for that round. that was the 3rd round sia. i like. wanna walk and talk to tony liao leh. then she shouted. wah motivated me like siow. somemore she smile know. HAHAHAHAH. i think my timing was 11 plus. not bad sia. so long nvr go train. if train or ji han say a few more times, maybe i go 9 mins liao. haha.

after that, i saw ji han. go disturb her. say she encourage me that time i ran damn first sia. haha. must be joke. she's just pretty la. not the one for me. only play play joke joke one la. then thanks to mrs loh, everyone seems to think its true. maybe even me. HAHA. thanks sia. so many ppl cheer for me. daughter wished me luck the previous night too. yay! no more "enter army first". i think mr chua helped me alot sia. needa thank him. haha. super happy. need to celebrate badly!

2008-08-04T21:40:00.002+08:00

sat i cant rmbr wad i did. running 5km with my neighbour thats all.
sun, mass then prac. made some constructive comments during practice that made me feel practice is more effective now. at least better than past 2 weeks. which i felt my time was wasted. gonna do that weekly to improve standards. after that went for lunch near hgm.

stucked with collin raye's love me. the lyrics are just touching. i realised theres just so many things for me to do after A lvls. tml's napha too. i'm stressed. not only with sch work. but feelings deep down. i dont know if anyone's worth it. but seems like. NOTHING is possible. gave up on one. one gave up on me. i believe looks are impt. its a matter of fact. even girls who say looks arent impt. they wouldnt marry someone ugly rite. everyone says i'm fat. which is true. but my legs and arms are ok la. only my tummy and butt.will work on it soon. anyways army's gonna make me slim too. army's gonna take away all i've got too. i've lost hope and faith and everything in U. i actually dont quite know how to do also. maybe i shld just wait. for 2 years huh. meanwhile lead a carefree life of clubbing and drinking.partying all day long? boring life i lead.

2008-08-02T13:11:00.002+08:00

this week isnt that productive for me. probably i very tired physically. although my mind wants to work, but my body cant. maybe its the training for napha nxt tues thats making me so tired. its also making me worried.

last wed, selena khoo told me something that boils me up. i tot it was quite rude too, rather, sick to do so. a pity i was not there, if not i would have said something, make the whole kampong know. Thurs was good. xiao jie and brother didnt come sch for pe! HAHA. but i found that someone was damn irritating. not that i'm not irritating but still. not say only those who are not irritating can comment rite. not say must be handsome to say if someone else's ugly rite?
Fri, went to orchard. to my dad's place for dinner. had a great time. had some alcohol. besides the point, i'm not drunk. only ONE person saw me drunk be4. haha. my papa says i cant drink in public, he scared i get violent and create trouble.haha.

past few days, sent food for thought to others. starting. sent to 14 ppl. arnd 7 replied. then sent to 10, 3 replied for the 2nd time. then sent to 6, NONE REPLIED. haha. must be joke. impt quote sia. hope's diminishing.for U, not "U"s

2008-07-28T22:52:00.002+08:00

Something seriously worth blogging. my 2.4 timing went back to 11 plus! not bad huh. although i once had that, but it was quite long ago. STANDING BROAD JUMP. OMG. 220cm. I REACHED IT. WITH EVERYONE LOOKING. i hope i can jump that nxt week for napha. i dont want more army days. probably someone made me SUPER DUPA HAPPY. but i wish that its not gonna be a one-sided thing. studied in sch today. realised wasnt really effective for me. probably the environment affects me alot. too many ppl studying together dont work for me. if its 2 or 3 ppl i'm perfectly fine.

ok. let me start with a story of, E, F, G, H. the first to get into the picture is F. somehow. probably during december season. then followed by H, then G, then E. obviously everyone knows G is not. so E was somehow not feasible. so i placed more focus on H and F. but apparently, F is not worth the try, probably for me. i dont know but i somehow think H is a more reliable source. maybe SHE is the one that made me jump 220cm today. run at lightning speed kinda motivation. i hope she's the one sia. i dont know but yea.

friday, sat. PTM. wtf. somehow someone tried to say i'm lazy and stupid. every teacher practically gave me negative comments. only mr pats. he say i'm a mathematics genius. the other teachers are quite dumb dumbs. fancy judging a person based on results? call themselves teachers. not say some ppl results good then everyone thinks that she's smart rite. everyone still knows that she's dumb but hardworking. bloody piece of shit. thinking of her makes me puke and pissed. then studied for sat.

sun went out wif smelly to study. rather efficient for me. i did quite abit of maths there. smelly gave me more practice still. now that i know what i'm doing, and knowing that there's just so little time left. its time to start putting in a little effort.

Xiaojie, i appreciate what u're doing for me. asking me to stay in sch and study. but i'm quite affected by what others are doing. i'm doing revision and everyone else's doing hw which i've completed. i feel kinda weird. probably not my style of doing things. i promise i'll still study at home even though i may not be joining you guys in sch. thanks for your help and motivation.

2008-07-24T18:59:00.002+08:00

The journey back home always leave me to ponder about the journey i've walked. Although i should have used the time wisely to read up but i like to think, and let my mind run wild. What am i actually doing? I hate it when people USE me. not saying that i expect a return from people, but at least appreciate it or at least, show it. Humans are selfish? i dont know if its true. although i've seen quite a number of real life examples already.

A level's just 3 months odd away, and i'm troubled with the issue of my mind. What is it that my mind actually want? I use music to hide my emotions. Although i may not show it out right on my face, but, somehow i use the power of music to express my emotions. There's this song, which i haven played for years. And its only out when something grave happens. Today, somehow it appeared on my mind. Not that i'm sad or emo, but just a complex feeling that i cant understand why i have it in the first place. Probably its a mixture and combination of many many feelings, such that i cant identify it.

I thought i could go away with it and have a new way of life. However, i think its just like shift of the demand curve. Its still there, just in another form. Another part of me wants to totally eradicate this demand curve and place it in another market structure 2 years later. but, can i? I dont wanna be the emotionless, cold, loner kind of person. Or am I just dreaming of something that might never happen? Talking to people around me made me found out, who i actually am, what i'm actually made up of. I'm a confident man, with nothing to be confident about.

Depend on GOD? I'm impatient and usually i want the answers quick and sharp. I dont really care if its mean or what. It cant be helped, but memories of the past turned back at me. I'm sure there's more than that 1 fool that did it. Probably just that not all fools spoke up , showed it, or told me such that in my consicious mind i recognise it and identified it. Found a solution to it and then have a resolution. But what's the problem? I dont actually see any problem. Its just want or not. rather than Can or Not. Rather true, but i dont really know how to solve it.

Pressure is harsh. With 3 months To A s. I've got nothing much uploaded into my brains still. studying hard now, still cannot guarantee me 4 As. 2 As max. I've no idea what i was thinking of the past 2 years. Now that i know what i want, i want to work hard to it. probably its a little too late, but it doesnt mean that its impossible, because i haven checked it out exactly. How am i supposed to survive in the society when my own mind cannot accept what my actions are doing.

Today, a jap band came to mj to perform. ZAI! i knew it wasnt MJ band. nvr gonna be up to that standard. Heard some news from perfect. doesnt sound good huh. lessons were ok. had an arguement with dog. over a piece of paper? erm. doesnt sound logical, but yea, thats what dog did. I was on the verge of fighting when he said something that made me guilty. if he hadnt said that, probably i'll be in trouble now. i realised i've got 282 hours of CIP.

yesterday Mr pats, said i'm smart. its true to a certain extent la. so he made me promise him to get a C at least for prelims. he's one of the few teachers that thinks i'm smart. very few. days be4 wed wasnt that fantastic afterall.

i only knew one thing. its not that feasible afterall.

2008-07-18T20:44:00.002+08:00

all i see now i just a dimension of space. sometimes i get reminded of that old chinese saying. re jiu jian ren xin, which simply means, u'll see the inner side of someone after time. true enough, humans do have flaws, so do i. its always said that one has to accept the flaws of others to be happy.i once tried that. yea, i fell deeper into it. when i came out, i was full of cuts. i dont really care how others think of me, thats why i do what i want, i do what i will. thats why ppl call me wild man. no surprise. family and friends. i've got pretty much to ponder and wonder about in this little mind of mine.
i seriously wonder why ppl think that i'm smart. xiao jie's mum said that i'm street smart. someone's father said something similar too. i think i'm just a little smarter than average. but people are just putting too much hope in me. i know i can do it. easy only. i'm not emo-ing or anything. i'm just putting my thoughts into words. i dont wanna go back to what i did in sec4. no one actually knows except ME. ok. maybe aunty tan. but now. i'm not gonna care. superficial stuff. i'm just gonna take it easily and not too seriously.
something i really want to put my heart and soul in, but i'm not sure of the outcome. obviously everyone wants a perfect ending. no one is perfect again. but at least. i hope my efforts are worthwhile. not exactly rewarding.but enriching. i dont want to be blinded now. i'll be the 100% true self now. catch my balls and fly. i dont know what i've done. but i know what i've not done. i'll do it soon, just before the air of freedom flies into doom.
had early leave yesterday. too tired, needed some rest. went to watch THE DARKNIGHT just now. wedding mass tml. hope angpow's big.